Raghav Singhania glanced at his metallic Tag Heuer Aquaracer and then around the glittering ballroom, in exasperation. Where the hell was Sammy, he wondered as he scanned the gathering at one of Dubai’s prestigious hotels. Why on earth had he agreed to accompany Sammy to this affair? He had not socialized like this for the past five years, throwing himself into work after she had disappeared.
Thoughts of Kalpi assaulted his senses as he shook himself, signalling the waiter to refill his glass of single malt. There was no point in dwelling on the past, he told himself for the millionth time, knowing that it was futile. The cold emptiness surrounding his heart was proof enough. Over time, he had gotten used to living with it … but it was times when he remembered her that showed him the acute ache that even the years had not lulled.
Where was she? How was she? Damn! Why did she have to leave without speaking with him … without telling him anything? Because I would not have let her go, he answered himself harshly, as always.
This constant monologue with himself needed to stop, he told himself firmly. Get a grip Raghav. She’s gone … you looked for her for years … its time to get control of your feelings now. With a firm nod as if making a decision, he gulped the refilled whiskey in one gulp and decided to mingle. Sammy had insisted he attend today’s gala dinner, as the ‘glitterati’ of the corporate and business world were all there. It was the annual meet to felicitate the various corporate and business heads over a lavish weekend in Dubai organized by the association.
Raghav Singhania, himself the president of the builders association for the past one-year had expanded and moved business to the UAE while Sammy handled the India operations. Starting out life anew in Dubai was meant to be a healing process from the tumultuous year he had spent with Kalpi. Throwing himself into work was the only reason he had remained sane. That and Sammy’s support, he reminded himself ruefully, spotting the man of his thoughts up ahead among a group of people.
‘Hey Raghav,” Sammy greeted him as he neared them. Half-heartedly, Raghav shook hands with all the men Sammy introduced, his only wish that the evening would end and he would go home to his serene villa at the Palm Jumeirah. He looked forward to his solitude. He had lived with it long enough before Kalpi had come into his life and changed everything. Made him smile, made him want to care … to be cared for … and now … again back to his loneliness. His mother had remained back in Mumbai at the Singhania mansion when he had decided to move out after his disastrous marriage to Pakhi.
Damn! He shook himself, admonishing himself for this uncalled for trip down memory lane. Why the hell was he thinking about all of that today? Why were his memories that he had learnt to keep under control, threatening to spill out today? He deserved to be alone. Heck! He wanted to be alone … he liked being alone.
“Raghav!” Sammy’s softly whispered rebuke brought him back to the present. Smiling sheepishly at his friend, whom he feared could sometimes actually read his thoughts, Raghav turned towards the dais at one end of the ballroom, where the felicitation ceremony was to begin, clapping customarily.
“And now … we invite the youngest awardee for this years ‘CEO of the year’ … Her sustained performance and the high level of employee engagement, leadership development and strategic alignment of the bank and its customers, in just a few years has earned her this special honour amongst her peers. Known for her relentless drive and willingness to take on any challenge, please put your hands together for Kalpana Jhadav, Chief Executive, City National Bank … our CEO of the year.
The glass nearly fell from Raghav’s hands as his complete attention was riveted towards the stage. He felt Sammy’s hand on his arm, steadying him as he watched in shocked silence Kalpi … his Kalpi walk gracefully up the dais.
The coral pink chiffon sari that she had draped gracefully enhanced her dusky beauty, and a pair of solitaires on her ears the only adornment that twinkled when she walked. Her long lustrous hair, that she had always kept open, was tied up in a cluster of curls, and he looked longingly at a few tendrils that had escaped and were kissing the nape of her slim neck.
He felt Sammy’s hand tighten on his arm, and was sure he must have groaned aloud as he watched the subject of his dreams accept the gleaming trophy and turn towards the audience in one fluid motion. Confidence oozed from every pore in her body, and Raghav wondered where his shy, nervous Kalpi had gone.
“I would just like to thank my mother, whose dream I fulfill today. It has been a journey of struggles for her and I dedicate this award to her as it is more hers than mine. And of course, the association for bestowing me with this honour.” Her wry smile didn’t reached eyes, Raghav noticed, as she smiled smoothly and handled all the attention quite easily.
Suddenly a thought hit him. ‘Did you know this?” He rasped, addressing Sammy, his eyes never leaving the stage where he watched her walk down and get immediately engulfed by people.
Kalpana felt overwhelmed and a feeling of immense sadness engulfed her. Blinking back a smattering of tears she went about the customary thanks and small talk that she had become so used to. It was all so superfluous, and she asked herself if at the end of it all was it really worth it. She felt tired. She wanted to be home. She wanted to be pampered with aai’s poha and masala tea. Most of all she wanted to cuddle in bed with Ranveer.
A small indulgent smile crept on her coral glossed lips unknowingly as she thought of her last conversation with him, just before she left her hotel room upstairs to attend this event. His childlike laughter as his ‘nani-aai’ fed him his favourite masala bhindi could always make the sun shine for her in an instant.
Ranveer, her only reason to carry on these past five years … her only joy and comfort … her only strength … her son … and the reason she had walked out of Raghav Singhania’s life for good five years ago, never to turn back.
It had been the simplest decision to make the day she had discovered she was pregnant. The realization, that somewhere along the way, she had given up on her dreams and aspirations … aai’s dreams and aspirations. So lost was she in Raghav’s love that nothing else had mattered … all she had ever wanted after falling in love was to be by his side ... to love him, care for him. And even after the shock and pain of losing him to Pakhi, like a gullible fool she had even agreed to wait for him for a year till he could be with her.
It had taken the news of her pregnancy for her to come to her senses finally. Pakhi had taken too much from her already … aai’s love … Raghav’s love and she would be damned if she was going to let her take away her baby now.
“Maam?” her assistant Priya whispered, as she stood immobile and lost in thought amongst colleagues and acquaintances. Had someone asked her something, she wondered wildly, as she looked at the expectant faces around her waiting for her to reply.
With practiced ease, Kalpana put out her best social smile and elegantly handled the group moving back into the conversation easily. Memories had to placed on the back burner … they caused her nothing but pain. She should be happy today … she was a ‘memsahib’ … and a very successful one at that. Her sea-facing penthouse, luxurious car, plush office and lifestyle were proof enough of that. She had come a long way from the noisy chawl in Andheri … a long way from the naïve Kalpi that she had been ... believing in people, enjoying the small joys of living as a family.
“DID YOU?” Raghav turned furiously towards Sammy. “You knew all along where she was”, he snarled angrily staring accusingly at his best friend.
“I did not.” Sammy informed him coolly. “I just heard someone mention her name earlier this evening, but was not sure myself.” He was staring intently at Raghav, wondering what his volatile friend would do now … unpredictable that he was with his emotions!
“Like HELL!” Raghav muttered and brushing off Sammy’s hand started purposefully towards the one woman who still had the power to take over his senses completely. He needed answers and he was hell bent on getting them now that she was finally here in the same room as him.
Raghav slowed his pace as he neared the group where he could clearly see her smiling and talking to people. He paused, his eyes taking her in greedily. She was not the slight, lissom girl that he remembered … though she was still slim and willowy there was a certain fullness to her … his eyes ran a trail from the dusky beauty of her face to her full breasts covered by the sheer fabric of her sari. A thin gold chain nestled in between her lush cleavage, and Raghav remembered the softness he had felt that night of the sangeet in the chawl when he had sneaked her up to the roof. He felt a tightening in his body as memories of that sensual night came flooding back, unabated. She had resisted him initially, but then her traitorous body had betrayed her and she had lost herself to his ministrations her soft moans driving him over the edge himself. Jeeze, he shuddered. He had actually made love to her without a care that someone could have walked in on them … he, the always-in-control Raghav Singhania had complete lost control that night as he had made her his in every sense of the word. They had gone through the rest of the wedding functions in a romantic haze of stolen moments and kisses till it all ended in a fiasco on their wedding day.
Yes, she was a woman now, he concluded getting back to the subject of his observation. A very lush, desirable woman. One that his body was telling him he wanted. And one he had every intention of getting before this night was through.
Kalpana felt a tingling sensation down her spine even before she met his eyes. A sense of foreboding hit her as her toffee brown startled eyes met his charcoal black ones across the few feet that separated them.
NO! She felt the colour wash way from her face and reeled backwards on the high stilettoes that she preferred to wear with saris. She blinked once, as if to clear her head … these memories were once again making her see him everywhere.
Looking up a second time, she felt the colour rush up to her ashen cheeks as she watched him look her up and down with a sardonic raise of his eyebrow. Oh God! It was him … it was not her imagination … Raghav Singhania was standing in front of her in flesh and blood … and that too in Dubai of all the places.
She had always dreamt of various scenarios of their meeting again … where she would laugh and throw her success at his face … where she would have him pleading with her, asking forgiveness … and none of those was even comparable to what was happening right now. It was nightmare she had walked into …
RANVEER! Her protective-mummy-mind clicked into full force … No, she was not going to share her precious baby … NO … she would not let him know.
Raghav watched in fascination as Kalpi’s face turned from white to pink as she blushed under his focused gaze. In her eyes he saw shock … disbelief … and finally terror. Terror? he wondered. Was he seeing fright on her face? Before he could analyze the expression, he saw the mask of cool social propriety fall back on her face as she stared back at him calmly as if challenging him to speak with her.
Pushing himself off the pillar that he was unconsciously leaning on Raghav sauntered the few paces to come stand in front of her … he felt a moment of pride when he saw her bravado falter for a second and sensed her body tense in awareness. Oh yes, she was not immune to him after all, he thought smugly. This was going to be an interesting even after all.
“Congratulations, Ms. Jhadav” he murmured huskily, holding out his hand to shake hers.
Kalpana stared at him and then at his outstretched hand, sure that her mouth had fallen open. Get a grip on yourself, girl … she shook herself mentally … you are not that giddy 21-year-old anymore!
“Mr. Singhania.” She acknowledged with a slight nod and after a slight hesitation put her hand into his calloused one.
The current that shot through her hand did not escape him either as they quickly parted, embarrassed.
Kalpana started at him as if in a trace as she heard music startup and Raghav reach out his hand once again requesting for a dance. Her whole being was focussed on him … it was as if they were the only two people in this whole universe and she was floating into his arms silently as if it was the only place she belonged. Raghav twirled her on to the dance floor, his warm hand burning an imprint on her waist as he pulled her against him.
Yes … he thought to himself … she belonged to him … this was where she was always meant to be … in his arms.
Kalpana could not think straight. What was happening? He was twirling her around the dance floor as that day long ago at the office masquerade party. Her body was once again behaving with a mind of its own, not letting her head and sanity take any control over the situation.
“You look beautiful”, he murmured huskily from somewhere above her head. Kalpi stared at the exposed skin of his neck where his shirt had parted, stifling an urge to reach out and touch her lips to the bronzed skin. She moved stiffly in his arms, cursing him silently for doing this to her yet again. After all these years, all the possible scenarios of getting her revenge, she was still putty in his arms … ready to do as he said. So much for your IIM honours Kalpi, she admonished herself, ruefully.
“We need to talk, Kalpi”, he whispered in her ear, his warm breath giving her goose bumps.
OK, that’s it … Hearing him call her Kalpi was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on her. Enough to make her come to her senses! Shutting her eyes for a second and putting on her best cool professional expression, Kalpana looked up into his face, silently praying to Lord Ganesha to give her the courage to survive this evening.
“How is Pakhi, Mr Singhania?” she asked him coolly.
Raghav stiffened.
“Is that why you ran away five years ago?” he questioned her instead, staring intently into her eyes.
“No, Mr. Singhania. I woke up.” She retorted hotly. “Lets just say, I came to my senses.” She gave a shrill laugh, feeling the need to escape immediately before she lost it completely.
She stepped away from his embrace, before he could react and turned and disappeared into the crowd of dancers.
And that is how Sammy found Raghav a couple of minutes later … standing alone on the dance floor, a stunned dreamy expression on his face, staring after the flurry of coral chiffon that just disappeared.
“Raghav,” Sammy shook his shoulder, bringing him back to the present.
“She can’t run away a second time, Sammy,” Raghav said turning wearily towards him, “I need to speak with her.” He looked pleadingly at his friend, his stern appearance fading away completely.
“You will,” Sammy placated him as always. “Just let her be tonight … she also has seen you after five years, Raghav.” He explained gently, not wanting Raghav to do anything rash. “We will find her tomorrow. She has to be staying at the hotel itself … the Association has arranged for all the delegates to be accommodated here and even sightseeing etc. planned over the weekend.”
Kalpana shut the door of her room and leaned against it in relief. She looked around the swanky suite that she had been given. She had worked hard for this. This had been her dream always … a nagging voice whispered otherwise … no, this was aai’s dream … your dream was to be married to Raghav and live happily ever after.
Shutting her eyes, as if to shut out the memories, Kalpana pushed herself away from the door after latching it securely and sitting on the edge of the bed, dialled home. It would be late she knew, but she needed to hear a familiar voice, she needed to hear the security of home in aai’s voice.
“Aai?” Kalpana questioned nervously when she heard the call connect.
“Kalpi” … she heard the smile in aai’s voice and felt a warmth surging through her body. Leaning back against the headboard, she heard aai rattle off Ranveer’s latest antics … ‘chikoo’ aai had named him fondly.
“Kalpi … sab theek hain na wahaan pey,” aai’s worried voice came over the mobile as she heard no response from Kalpana.
“Haan aai … err …” Kalpana hesitated unsure if she should share her meeting with Raghav. Aai had been distraught since the whole wedding fiasco but had been a pillar of strength for Kalpi once they got confirmation of her pregnancy a month later. Though still not comfortable with the idea of Kalpi being a single unmarried mother, she was practical enough to realize that her daughter needed her family support more than anything else. She had watched with pride Kalpi turn from a young girl into the confident woman she now was today.
They had moved to Ahmedabad immediately where Kalpi had secured admission for the One Year Post-Graduate programme in management and come through with honours. Aai realized that she had not shown her love and support for Kalpi through her growing years, and by standing by her when her daughter needed her the most she felt she was in her own small way making some amends.
A placement with the bank and then there was no stopping Kalpi. It was as if she was driven by some force, working day in and day out. They moved back to Mumbai, but not to the chawl. The sea-facing penthouse was lonely for Kamla, but Ranveer and Vitthal kept her on her toes. Not used to the luxuries of servants, aai had insisted on at least doing the cooking. Baba had agreed wholeheartedly, of course. And of course aai’s ‘chikoo’ … she had to look after him herself … between his grandparents the spoiled and pampered him so much that Kalpana would at times even feel a slight bit of envy.
“Aai, Raghav hain yahan par,” Kalpi suddenly blurted out.
“Raghav baba?” aai whispered painfully.
Kalpana curbed her first reaction to admonish her mother not to call him ‘baba’ … she was not their maid anymore, she thought angrily.
“Haan aai … miley thay mujhey abhi kuch der pehelay.”
Silence.
Kalpana could picture aai thinking about this new turn of events.
“Chikoo kay baarey mein bataya tuney?” aai questioned quietly.
Kalpana shut her eyes and said a silent prayer. This had been the only bone of contention between them for the past five years. Aai’s insistence that Raghav needed to know about his son, and her reluctance to do so at all.
“Er .. aai … main … vo …” Kalpana stammered for the appropriate response then decided against hemming and hawing … “nahi”. She ended firmly. “Koi zaroorat nahi samjhi maney.”
“Kalpi…” aai started, only to be cut off by Kalpana, “aai please … aisey kaisey main unhey chikoo key baarey mein party mein bolti?”… “aur vaisey bhi … kya zaroorat hain unhey jaanney ki … ab tak toh unkey aur Pakhi key apney …” she stopped abruptly, hating the picture of Raghav and Pakhi along with their children.
“Par Kalpi …” aai again tried to reason with her Ranveer’s need to have a father, his fathers name … the societal stigmas associated at being unwed with a child.
Kalpana bit back her harsh words that now that they were rich all that did not matter to anyone. But she kept quiet knowing it was a never-ending argument that had been going on between aai and her for the past five years!
Promising to call again tomorrow morning before Ranveer left for his playschool, Kalpana disconnect the call getting up and dejectedly moving towards the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.ss
Sleep was the furthest from her mind when after a while she crawled under the cold empty sheets, curling up on the huge double bed. Over the years she had travelled a bit relating to her work, but tried to keep staying away from Ranveer to a minimum. Only if absolutely necessary, would she agree to travel and that too for not more than a couple of days.
This time she did not stop the memories as tears started flowing unabated down her cheeks. Somewhere deep inside she knew aai was right and Raghav had a right to know about his son. Damn, Ranveer had the right to a father and his love. Right now baba was playing the role of father more than grandfather, and her Ranveer’s whole universe was just the three of them but Kalpi realized that as her precious son was growing up he would need his father.
But what aai did not understand was that Raghav was now married to someone else … she squeezed her eyes shut as a searing pain shot through her at that thought. She knew of Raghav’s volatile anger … his need for revenge … what all he could stoop to if he was hurt by someone … she had seen it all … what would he do if he came to know about Ranveer! Would they take him away from her … would he try and marry her too and keep her and Ranveer in a separate house … would he want to take revenge from her too for disappearing and now hiding a child from him?
NO … she had to spare her child the torture of loving someone and not being able to be together completely … she had protected him all these years. It had been so easy to just disappear without a trace … after all inconsequential small people like they were back then were hardly ever missed in bustling cities like Mumbai. Who had the time! And when she did return to Mumbai a year ago on a posting after a couple of years in Delhi, she was so sure that she would be the last person that Raghav would still be looking for.
Her life was limited to office and back home. She never socialized, ate out or attended any of the office parties. Not only did it not interest her as she’d rather be home spending her free time with Chikoo, but it also kept her and her family insulated from being noticed or recognized.
But all that was over now … she had faced her past tonight and was also sure that Raghav was not going to let her disappear again. It was not going to be easy to vanish once again, now that she was a prominent personality in her own right.
What the hell was he thinking, she muttered suddenly angry with Raghav … he selected Pakhi for his wife … for whatever reason back then … why Deva, could she not be left alone now. She had it all under control till now … and now this stupid award and coming here and meeting Raghav.
She tossed and turned the rest of the night, questions and possible scenarios flitting in and out of her dreams, finally falling into a restless slumber her last thought of how complete she had felt a little while ago in his arms.
Elsewhere in Dubai, Raghav strode into his villa throwing his jacket and tie on the settee and walking straight to the bar. At another time he would not have been found dead throwing anything anywhere in his precious house, but he was past caring now. Emptying out a large splash of neat whisky into a glass he stepped out onto the deck overlooking the sea.
Taking a large swig he relished the burning sensation that ran down his throat. DAMN! He muttered … DAMN … DAMN … DAMN! The beauty of the ocean at night, the cool breeze filtering from the beach a few feet away and the full moon shining in the sky were all lost on him right now, as he paced back and forth on the wooden deck.
He had wasted five bloody years … why had he given up the frenzied searching … He slammed his fist on the wooden railing in anger. Why had Sammy not continued to look for her … she was heading a bloody bank for goodness sake! How visible was she, right under their noses … HELL! He had all but given up and resigned himself to a life of loneliness. Or had he thought that she would have never achieved her dream of making something of herself, a sneaking voice asked quietly. Had he even cared for her dreams and wishes ever? So driven by revenge, he had arrogantly ruined three lives without a single care of anyones feelings. Not that his mother and Pakhi were above board, he recalled disgustedly.
At least his mother had had the shame to realize her mistake and make some sort of amends. Her love for her only son finally rising above her need for retribution. Thankfully she saw using him as a pawn to fight personal battles was not worth it.
And Pakhi … a wave of guilt washed over him as always. Yes, he was instrumental in her nervous breakdown … he had had complete disregard for her emotions just as he had treated Kalpi. His grip on the glass tightened as he recalled that fateful day when it all rose to a crescendo … Kalpi and her family disappearing … his mum deciding that this farce of a marriage had to end and Pakhi … passionate crazy Pakhi … unable to handle her separation from her Kamla ma, unable to handle the truth that it would always be only Kalpi for him … unable to face her vicious spiteful actions against her childhood friend had just collapsed and gone into a severe depression … always begging to be forgiven, begging to be taken to Kamla ma … crying and fighting her own demons till her parents decided to seek medical help.
A quick annulment and he was again left alone as the Kapoors along with their daughter moved to London, with his help. He owed Pakhi that much at least understanding her point of view too.
And he was free … just like that … in one swipe everything had worked out … except that he was left all alone … with not a clue where to look for Kalpi … the people at the chawl were most closed about revealing her whereabouts. He understood their solidarity and their wariness towards trusting him. After all they had all been witness to the drama that had unfolded.
Raghav let out a long sigh, as his loneliness and emptiness engulfed him. He had given up searching for Kalpi and now that she was here in Dubai he had again not pursued her, listening once again to Sammy’s advice.
Finishing the rest of his drink in one gulp, he thinned his lips as the decision to not let go this time took shape in his mind. No way was he going to give up this time without a bloody fight if he had to. Enough time had been wasted, too many people needed to heal. He was finally going to take matters in his hands and finally do the right thing. The little spark of hope was the feel of her pliant soft body in his arms on the dance floor.
Yes, it was time to take what was his. What had always been his ... His Kalpi.
Kalpana awoke early with a splitting headache and red-sleep-deprived eyes to boot. She glanced at her travel alarm clock on the bedside and reached for her mobile to call aai before Ranveer left for playschool.
“Mumma!” his childish voice came over the line and Kalpana felt a rush of warmth run through her. Everything was all right in her world, she heaved a sigh as she indulgently listened to him prattle about nani-aai and baba taking him to the park. And ending with asking her when she would be back home.
“Very soon my love,” she cooed softly imagining his curly mop of black hair and toffee brown bright eyes so like her own. “Mumma will be with you tomorrow … a huge airplane will take me to my little chikoo just like that” she clicked her fingers to demonstrate.
Aai came on the line informing her that they had to leave … it was a short walk to the playschool from their apartment complex and Ranveer enjoyed the morning walk to his school with his baba.
Promising aai that she would see her tomorrow, Kalpana disconnected the phone getting out of bed to get dressed. She was glad she had declined the sightseeing trip as not only was she feeling like hell right now, she just wanted to shop a bit for Ranveer instead and then relax at the hotel the rest of the day with a book before she would be home in Mumbai tomorrow.
Half an hour later, sitting in the coffee shop near the bay windows over looking the pool, Raghav watched with baited breath as he saw her exit the elevators and walk into the coffee shop where breakfast was laid for the visiting group.
Dressed in a pair of printed flared palazzo plants, teamed with a neon green tee shirt over which she was wearing a white sleeveless shirt that was knotted casually at her slim waist she moved into the room breezily. Raghav actually felt his heart skip a beat as he said a silent prayer that she had not vanished overnight. Her flat gold gladiator sandals twinkled as she walked towards a secluded table at the other end, lost in her thoughts. He noticed that there were slight dark circles under her red eyes, and thought with malicious satisfaction that she too had not slept well after all. Once again she had braided her hair and the thick plait rested on one of her shoulders casually. She had obviously stopped leaving her hair open, Raghav mused distractedly, imagining himself opening her long black tresses soon enough.
Pushing himself up from the chair and motioning the waiter to replace his cup of black coffee he strode purposefully towards her table, where she was in the process of going through something on her phone.
Kalpi knew he was there even before she looked up at him standing beside her table. She took in the low-slung denims that hung snugly on his hips, over the salmon pink tee that fit his broad chest perfectly. She swallowed once as her eyes came to the small vee of exposed skin where his buttons were open and finally straight into his eyes … that raised eyebrow letting her know that he was aware of the effect he was having on her.
Arrogant Pig! She thought angrily, embarrassed at being caught checking him out so blatantly. Turning away she started fumbling with her phone without actually seeing anything on the screen.
“May I?” his deep baritone was like smooth silk on her nerves and she shivered. Without waiting for her answer he puled out a chair and seated himself opposite her comfortably.
Fuming inside, Kalpana put down her phone and turned her khol-rimmed eyes towards him … “no, you may not,” she mumbled rudely, knowing full well that it was futile. Two cups of coffee were placed in front of them and she tried not to fumble while adding sugar to hers.
“How are you?” he asked quietly instead, throwing her off guard. This was the last question she had expected.
“Er … Fine … and you?” she asked as formally as she could muster.
“I’m not ‘fine’ … and you know it Kalpi. Stop this hemming and hawing. We need to talk…” he stated firmly.
How dare he! Kalpana fumed… “and how is Pakhi?” she asked snidely wanting to put him in his place. He was reducing her to a nervous mess already!
“Must be ok … We are no longer together,” he answered carefully, looking for some reaction from her.
The shock must have clearly shown on her face, followed by an overwhelming sense of relief and Kalpana quickly looked down at her coffee cup, as if the brown liquid was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.
“Oh…” she mumbled not having the courage to look up at him, her mind chaotic at this new turn of events.
“Yes ... Oh …” he repeated amused at her fumbling. So much for ‘Ms. CEO of the year’ he thought gleefully. This may work out better than he had imagined.
“Why did you do it Kalpi?” he questioned softly. “I told you to give me time … you even agreed … you knew it was always only you … I never even touched Pa…”
Kalpana looked up suddenly, stopping him mid-sentence. What was she supposed to say now? Yes, she had promised him she would wait … yes she had loved him completely … unconditionally … understanding his pain and his limitations … a niggling feeling told her that she still loved him, just as passionately and completely like she did back then. She would still agree to anything he would ask of her … right here … right now!
But now she had Ranveer, and her only thought always and ever was to keep him protected. A part of her knew that Raghav would never harm them, but he could also be unforgiving … she had hidden his son from him for four years … she was sure his reaction was not going to be a pleasant one!
“Please Ra…” She abruptly stopped as he put his hand on hers across the table.
“Spend the day with me.” He commanded, looking intently into her eyes.
The thick silence between them felt like it was a full twenty minutes long before she managed to break the eye lock and look down at their hands. He was unconsciously gently grazing her wrist with his thumb and it took all of Kalpana’s will power to control the responsiveness of her body to his touch.
“I …” she stammered, not believing that this was actually happening to her. She had been so proud of her self-control and her ability to lock away unwanted emotions … and here she was, after all those many years … still putty in his hands.
Good heavens! What was she supposed to do now?
“I’ll behave myself, I promise.” He swore solemnly, not wanting to scare her away. “Please…” he pleaded applying a little pressure on her hand, still under his on the table.
Kalpana felt her rigidity melting … she felt tempted to get that one last day with him, before she walked away again to her life back in Mumbai. What would one day hurt … she deserved to make some memories to sleep with alone in her bed … and all he was asking was for her to spend the day with him.
Shutting her eyes, as if making a resolve she nodded gently, hoping that it would not be a decision that she would regret later.
Moving swiftly as if he feared she may change her mind, he asked her if she wanted to fetch anything from her room before turning to the hotel staff for clearing his bill.
“I’ll be right back,” she murmured huskily, wanting to go up to her room to get her bag, preferably without him following her there. Once in the secure comfort of her suite Kalpana thought about what had just transpired at the breakfast table … had she just agreed to spend the day with him … and just how are you going to buy gifts for Ranveer, she asked herself smartly biting back a groan at what she had done.
“No time to have second thoughts now, Kalpi my girl,” she told herself bravely. You can shop at the duty free for him tomorrow on your way out, and grabbing her bag, all but ran out the room towards the elevators.
She missed the look of relief that swept across Raghav’s face as she stepped out of the lift. Taking her by the elbow he stepped out on to the hotel porch where a black SUV was parked smartly. After seating her comfortably, he grabbed the keys and smoothly moved out of the hotel merging into the city traffic easily.
She nervously fiddled with the strap of her handbag … as the silence in the car engulfed them. Clearing her throat nervously, she asked quietly, ‘Where are we going?”
Her quiet question broke the trance Raghav seemed to be in. “Well, it’s too hot to go sit under a tree in a public park right now and eat local ice-cream,” he teased her tenderly.
She bristled at that. He was making fun of her. ‘That was not even remotely funny,’ she said with icy cold dignity. “Its what most people who cannot afford restaurants do …” she continued hotly, looking out of the window in case he saw the hurt reflected in her eyes.
Turning back to look at him only when she felt his warm hand cover her fidgeting ones in her lap, she felt her heart melt some seeing the teasing sparkle in his eyes. “How about I take you to see the tallest building first?” he changed the subject smoothly turning the car towards their first destination. So many years in Dubai and this was the first time that he himself would have stepped foot anywhere near the Burj Khalifa, Raghav shook his head in wonder. It was too touristy and crowded for his liking, but then he had ridden the local bus in Mumbai with her too. So what the hell, he told himself. At least he was with Kalpi … nothing else mattered right now.
Entering the dark elevator that would take them up Raghav sensed her apprehension. He needn’t have bothered holding her or pulling her towards himself as the rest of the crowd milling inside was doing a perfect job of pushing her against him. For the first time in his life Raghav Singhania actually welcomed the tourists. She was pushed against him; his breath was warm against her ear as she leaned against him in the dark interiors … so physically aware of his hard body behind her. While the rest of their fellow passengers were concentrating at the number panel where floors were swishing past with a scary speed, Kalpi could only think about his muscular body behind hers, his arm instinctively going around her waist, making her lean back further into him. And it was over in a couple of seconds ... they were ushered out to the top of the building from where one could view the entire city.
He patiently pointed out the various landmarks, all the time being the perfect gentleman … as if those moments in the elevator never happened, Kalpi grumbled to herself.
On the way down after a short while, Kalpi was careful to stand a little away from him. Little did she realize how disturbing and frustrating her proximity had been for him. Raghav had been at the edge of saying goodbye to his self-control, had it not been for that bloody promise he had made this morning … to behave himself.
After that he had remained the perfect guide for her, showing her the musical fountains, the aquarium in one of the malls and even a quick lunch at the food court. He helped her shop for a shirt and track suits for baba and a handbag and some lotions for aai … Kalpi looked longingly at a toy store they crossed, but then decided against taking the chance to pick up something for Ranveer … his latest obsession was his growing collection of dinky cars.
“You want to buy something here?” Raghav asked when he felt her pause outside the toy store. Kalpi looked flustered and pointed to the next shop instead hoping it anything but another kids store. “You want to buy a dress?” Raghav said looking at the mannequins in the window displaying the current line of a famous international designer.
Suddenly he felt excited … Yes, this was more like it ... Helping her select a dress. He liked the idea immensely, and started walking into the store determinedly.
“No ... no ...” he heard Kalpi stammer behind him, as he stopped and turned around to see her frozen outside the toy shop next door. “I mean … yes … yes, I wanted to buy a dress.” She stammered, rushing past him into the store.
From there on Raghav just took over … requesting for a selection of dresses for her to try on, discussing the colours and style with the over enthusiastic sales girl, much to Kalpi’s annoyance. She stood sulkily on one side watching the girl flirt outrageously with him as she understood what exactly he wanted taken out for Kalpi.
“Ahem”… finally unable to take anymore, Kalpi cleared her throat nosily, tapping her foot impatiently till they both realized she was waiting for them to finish.
The sales girl blushed, and Kalpi all but rolled her eyes, as she watched her run to fetch whatever it was that Raghav had instructed. Turning her attention to where Raghav stood she said crossly, “I can select my own dress, thank you!” Seeing him raise his eyebrows questioningly at her further incensed her, and she turned and flounced off towards the nearest rack and not bothering to even look pulled out the first dress that she yanked off the hangar and marched to the changing rooms located behind some thick velvet curtains. How dare he flirt right in front of her eyes! How dare he, she muttered slipping on the dress distractedly over her head turning to look at herself in the full-length mirror placed on one side.
Kalpi shrank back in horror from the image she saw in the mirror. The dress was a deep ruby red satin, the strapless bustier began half way down her breasts exposing most of her creamy cleavage. It fell in glossy folds down till her ankles. From somewhere near her upper thighs it had a huge slit running all the way down to the hem, giving glimpses of her dusky long legs as she moved.
Ok … this was so wrong at so many levels, she grumbled as she wondered how she was going to get out of this choice of hers. A sinking feeling told her that he had noticed what she had pulled out! Clutching the bodice up with one hand she hit her forehead with other shutting out the sultry “Jessica Rabbit” image that started back at her from the mirror.
A muffled groan from somewhere behind her alerted her to his presence, and she spun around unaware that her unzipped back was reflected completely in the mirror behind. “What are you doing here?” she whispered hoarsely backing away as she saw him advance towards her slowly, as if in a trance. “Get … g g get out!” she stammered, not too firmly.
“You are not buying that,’ he managed to croak, after clearing his throat twice. “And you’re not wearing it in front of anyone but me anyway…” he stated firmly, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Mr Singhania …” she started saying in her most cold and haughty voice, only to watch with horror as he just reached for her and pulled her into his arms then drove his hungry mouth down onto hers. Kalpi’s eyes widened in shock and she felt the cool surface of the glass as he pushed her against the mirror. The kiss drove out any need for talking … it was hungry and it was deep. Kalpi felt a tide of pleasure as she gasped and quivered feverishly as he explored her mouth like a starved man. The feel of his strong hard masculine body pressing against her felt wonderful. The feel of his hands moving from her neck down her bare back felt delicious. Kalpi had no idea how long they remained like that in the changing room
“Sir?” a timid voice from the other side of the velvet curtain asked hesitatingly. Raghav slowly ended the kiss staring down gently at Kalpi’s upturned face … her eyes closed … and her lips softly parted and bruised from his fierce kiss.
Swearing softly, he zipped her gown and slowly turned her around to face the mirror. Meeting her dazed eyes in their reflection he called out softly, “We’ll take this one.”
***
“I am NOT buying that!” Kalpi retorted hotly, shaking herself out of the dazed stupor, and quelling the desire to pull him back into her arms. Kalpi stared in wonder at their reflection. Why was it that she was all quivering and flustered and he was looking as cool as a cucumber, all under control.
“No, YOU are not,” he agreed calmly still holding her shoulders, both of them reflected in the mirror. “I AM.” He finished smugly, dropping a small kiss at the nape of her neck, and turned the part the curtain and relieve the sales girl of the bung of dresses that she had taken out.
“Now be a good girl, and try these too,” he told her gently, holding out the dresses.
Kalpi wanted to scream and stomp her foot … if this body-hugging dress would even allow that, she muttered to herself. Jealousy and frustration mingled and bubbled up inside her unknowingly and she felt irritable and annoyed, wanting to wipe that smug knowing look from his face. Turning away from him angrily she tried calm herself … only to feel his disturbing touch on her back again. Her startled eyes met his amused ones in the mirror again as he pulled the zipper down slowly, “you’ll need help with that...” he leaned closer and whispered in her ear, his gaze never leaving hers.
Reaching with his hand to gently push her chin upward to shut her softly open mouth, he smartly turned and walked out of the dressing room, his authoritative “change” echoing in the small confined space.
Kalpi sat with a thud on the small ottoman placed in one corner. Ok … she was a mess … this whole situation was a mess … and she had a dirty feeling he was playing with her … looking up at her disheveled self in the mirror, she softly touched her lips in wonder. That kiss had seemed to piece right into her heart and she had wanted to cling to him like that forever … what are you going to do, Kalpi, she asked herself again and again … this was getting more complicated by the minute … she did not seem to have any power on her feelings or her body …
“Need help?” his cheeky question came from across the curtain, galvanizing Kalpi into action. The last thing she needed was him coming back in this confined space with her.
Jumping up, she assured him that she was okay, and reached out to try the rest of the dresses that were placed inside the changing room. As she tried one dress after another, she stared in awe at her refection, wondering how perfect he had selected each garment for her. The colours, style and elegance of each of the dresses she tried on was just perfect in every way. From a simple black cocktail one to an elegant cream linen shift each complimented her completely. Even though Kalpi realized that she hardly every went out, she was tempted to purchase them in the hope that she may even get to wear them some day.
When she exited the changing area she saw Raghav at the far end of the store speaking on his mobile. She stood for a minute and admired his lithe muscular frame as he paced and spoke softly into his mobile. He had asked her once, long ago, if there were any shortcomings in him that she could not accept him in her life! Had he even looked at himself, Kalpi laughed to herself. He was a walking talking dynamite as far as she was concerned… what she had not even noticed in her recent youth was staring her in the face right there. She suddenly understood how easily women could call a man ‘sexy’… here was someone who was defining sexy as far as she was concerned.
Kalpi blushed prettily, averting her eyes, when he suddenly looked towards her and once again caught her checking him out. His questioning eyes, asked if she was okay and to give him a couple of minutes. God! Did I just read all that in his eyes? She wondered in fascination.
Nodding she turned towards the cash counter to pay for her purchases, while he finished his call and came over taking out his card in the process.
Kalpi stiffened.
“I can pay for those…” she ground out between clenched teeth, not wanting the sales staff to hear her. What would they think … why was he buying her clothes like this. “I can afford it…” she snapped nastily.
Charmingly he handed his card over to the sales girl behind the counter as they both completely ignored her standing and glower angrily at him. Signing the slip he turned towards her, bags in hand, tilting his head questioningly, “chalen?”
Not wanting to create a scene in the store, Kalpi turned and stormed out already deciding that he could keep the damn dresses and wear them himself for all she cared. A hysterical giggle erupted as he imagined him in them! She was not going to let him pat for her wardrobe ... and such an exorbitant one at that!
Raghav was having the time of his life. She was adorable and utterly sexy when she stomped about angrily. He was loving this new Kalpi of his, as she showed her jealousy and desires unknowingly. He was loving pampering her with gifts and he was enjoying getting under her skin and watching her react as if he belonged to her alone. A warmth spread over Raghav, as he marched her into a shoe shop next to complete the outfits he had purchased earlier.
“You’re going to wear women’s sandals also?” Kalpi asked sarcastically, refusing to enter the store he was now merrily strolling into. She looked at the branding on the door and groaned … another designer! No … he was absolutely NOT buying her anything from here, she thought a mutinous look in her eyes.
Raghav started indulgently at the exotic woman standing stiffly outside the store … his woman, he though proudly. Before this day was through he would have convinced her of his love and sorted out everything so that they could finally begin anew, he promised himself.
“No, I don’t have the kink of wearing high heels as yet,” he explained patiently. “would you like me to, though?” he asked naughtily winking at her and pulling her unyielding frame into the store.
Kalpi was at a loss of words at this new Raghav. Why was he not getting angry with her … why was he not reacting to her annoyed barbs and arguing with her? She was again standing there with her mouth parted staring at him in amazement. And again he gently pushed her chin up with his forefinger dropping a gentle kiss on her soft lips.
“I don’t need to buy footwear.” Kalpi told him fiercely, watching him browse the shelves and stop in front of a pair of red strappy heels. Kalpi gulped back a retort as she realized what he was up to. There was no way she was ever going to wear that Jessica Rabbit dress and now he was going and getting her shoes to match!
“Raghav!” she caught hold of his arm and pulled him away to face her. Very wrong move she realized as a sales girl was already reaching them and Raghav turned on his most charming smile on Kalpi and removing her hand tucked it under his arm “Yes, my love,” he whispered inquiringly … watching Kalpi blush furiously. His timing had been perfect, there was no way she was going to rant in front of a stranger, and hers sucked as she had all but thrown herself into this situation. MY LOVE? His words registered suddenly, and Kalpi felt a gush of shyness, lowering her lashes, unable to meet his gaze.
Sitting her down on one of the benches he instructed for the red sandals to be pulled out and taking it from the sales girls hand knelt in front of Kalpi ready to make her wear it. “I’ll try it myself,” Kalpi all but snatched the sandal from his hand slipping of her strappy gladiators and slipping her foot into the red ones, as he remained kneeling in front of her.
“Er … you can get up now …” she mumbled, his proximity effecting her terribly. She looked around the store nervously to check if any one was looking at them. She had to put a stop to this game he was playing if she wanted to return to Mumbai with her heart in one piece, Kalpi finally decided. She knew she did not have it in her to go through the same rejection that she did five years ago.
“It fits,” she stated quickly … “I’ll take it” and taking them off, to avoid a further scene quickly wore her own shoes going through the same motions of walking to the counter as in the dress store. Oh what did it matter … she nearly threw up her hands in the air, when once again he calmly managed to pay … she was NEVER going to wear the damn things anyway. If he wanted to waste his money it was his problem.
A sudden wave of fatigue hit her as all the fight went out. She felt emotionally and physically drained now. All she needed was a hot soak in the luxurious bath at the hotel and a hot meal in bed. This day had gone on long enough. Glancing at her slim practical wristwatch she saw that it was nearly evening. The day had just flown by so soon. And she was feeling sad that it had come to an end.
“You need to get some rest, I think,” Raghav was suddenly attentively by her side. “You look as if you are going to pass out.” He ushered her out of the store juggling all the bags in his hands, refusing her request to help. To tired to argue, Kalpi leaned back and shut her eyes, once she was comfortably seated in his car. She had to get back to reality now. She needed to think about Ranveer. She had stolen a day for herself, but now she needed to secure him. Her mind was in a muddle with all the questions and possible answers that were happening there. What should she do? Could she trust Raghav once again? Did he still love her after all these years or was it just a game to him have her … to play with her feelings once again. She had completely believed him once… but that was before she had the added responsibility of her son. Was she being selfish in not sharing the news about his son with him? She was petrified of his reaction to suddenly having a four-year-old thrust upon him. They had spent the whole day today and she had no idea what he was upto. He had asked her all about aai and baba and her job and she had not wanted to hear a single word about him … not asked him anything at all … about his past or his present. Had she done that consciously? Was she just taking this day selfishly just for herself … to make new memories for the lonely days ahead …
“Kapli?” Raghav’s soft voice cut into her jumbled thoughts, alerting her to the fact that the car had stopped. “We’re here.”
Opening her eyes she looked around and noticed them parked in the porch of a beautiful villa. “This is not the hotel … where are we?” she questioned him accusingly.
“My home,” he stated calmly taking off his seatbelt and getting out of the car to walk across and open her door.
“Your home?” she repeated faintly
“You want to get out?” he held out his hand for hers, as she remained seated inside the car.
“Get out?” she repeated again, not understanding what was going on. He had a house here… he lived in Dubai?? He did not live in Mumbai anymore … her mind raced at the various connotations of this new discovery.
“Yes, Kalpi … will you please stop repeating what I am saying and get out.” He asked patiently, his hand still held out.
“I’m repeating …” she started and shut her mouth when she saw his expression. “No.” she said instead. “I want to be dropped to the hotel.” He had to be joking thinking that she would go into his house with him now, she thought wildly.
“You did promise me a full day … and the day is not over yet. Besides you are too tired now to be walking around so you can relax here before we have dinner together.” He said evenly.
“Dinner together…” she repeated again
“Kalpi!” he warned with mock severity. “You have nothing to fear … I also promised to behave.”
Yeah right she thought hysterically … that’s just what you have been doing all afternoon!
With a resigned sigh she put her hand in his, and stepped out of the car saying a mental goodbye to her relaxing soak in the tub!
Kalpi followed him into the house deciding to stop this mental tug of war that she had been indulging in. She realized it would only result in a headache and nothing else. The cool interiors of the villa were like a soothing balm on her taut nerves. Of course, it had to be spic and span … not a thing out of place, she thought as she took in the tastefully done up home.
He led her to one of the rooms on the ground floor level and dumped the bags on a chair by the bay windows. Kalpi gasped in awe as she looked upon the vast stunning view of the ocean through those windows. Drawn by the beauty, she walked towards the view and stood taking it all in. “Its very beautiful,” she complimented him quietly, her back still to him.
“Why don’t you relax for sometime, while I get some work done.” He murmured softly not wanting to disturb her serene beauty as she started out into the ocean. “There’s a Jacuzzi in the bath in case you want to shower.” He shut his eyes as a picture of her rose in his mind … lying in the steamed bath … her dusky skin moist … STOP … STOP … he told himself fiercely. That was a very dangerous path his thoughts were taking. Maybe he needed a cold shower instead. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he left her alone and walked into his study to concentrate on some work instead. But not before calling his housekeeper on the intercom to issue instructions for dinner and a request for a tea tray to be taken to the guest room.
The soft knock on the door shook Kalpi from her dreamland and she opened the door to see a welcoming tray of tea being brought in to her. Thanking the matronly housekeeper, a little embarrassed at what she must be thinking, Kalpi sank into one of the sofas facing the ocean and curling her legs under her gratefully sipped the hot tea.
Dinner was to be at 8, the housekeeper had told her. Kalpi wondered what that meant. Were they eating here? Suddenly it sounded like a nice idea to stay in this beautiful house and eat … and the relief that there was a motherly housekeeper to chaperone them! Glancing at her watch and seeing that she had about an hour before dinner, Kalpi decided to take up the offer of the Jacuzzi.
Walking into the beautifully appointed bathroom with the tub holding pride of place, she started filling the water while tying up her hair and neatly folding her clothes that she had worn all day. Thankful for the dresses that had been purchased Kalpi decided to wear the knee-length cream linen shift knowing it would be elegant for a casual dinner… and of course her gold strappy gladiator tie-ups would go perfectly. Glad that she always carried a little makeup in her bag, Kalpi stepped into the warm swirling waters of the Jacuzzi and sighed deeply as she lay back and let the exhaustion of the day finally take over.
8:15 … Raghav glanced at his watch again … where was she? Sitting at the bar counter nursing his drink for the past half an hour he impatiently put down his glass and decided to go and check for himself. He had instructed his housekeeper to give her the time of dinner. He had specially ordered her to cook an Indian meal for Kalpi, which was warming nicely in the hot cases that Mrs Kumar, his housekeeper had left organized on the counters in the kitchen. She had insisted on staying to serve them, but Raghav knew she lived in another part of town and her family would have been waiting, so had refused her offer saying that he would manage perfectly well from here. He was looking forward to his evening with Kalpi.
Uneasiness crept in when Kalpi did not answer his repeated knocking and calling out from the door. Was she ok? He wondered … oh god! Had she walked off again without telling anyone ... panic overtook Raghav and he shoved the door open forcefully, striding in to find the room dark and unnaturally quiet. Walking to the bedside he reached down and switched on the lamps, bathing the room in a warm glow. She was not there! He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw her handbag and the other shopping bags lying where he had left them earlier.
His relief was short lived as another feeling of dread impelled him to burst open the bathroom door … had she fallen … was she hurt … hell! How long would she have been lying there in case she had fallen and hurt herself??
It took him a while to adjust to the steaming bathroom, as he wildly looked around for her on the floor. A small sigh from the Jacuzzi alerted him to her presence, and he stopped dead in his tracks … it was as if his earlier fantasy of her in the bath had come alive. She was immersed in the water and looked fast asleep!
Raghav walked up to the tub slowly taking in her radiance, enhanced further by the steam and tiny droplets resting on her peaceful face. Curly tendrils had come loose from her hair that had been bunched up untidily on top of her head. His eyes lowered to where they floated near her slim neck and as if under her spell he continued his examination seeing her supple form under the swirling bubbling water.
Raghav drew in a ragged breath and clenched his fists, dragging his eyes back up to her face.
Frustration took the form of sudden anger … how long had she been lying there? … didn’t she realize how dangerous it was to fall asleep like this? … what if he had not walked in …. What if she had slid down under the water … And before he could get a grip on himself he stormed to the tub and reached out to shake her shoulder rudely.
WHAT… Kalpi spluttered awake sitting up suddenly. She looked around, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar surroundings and her eyes came to rest on his stunned face. Following his line of vision Kalpi looked down at herself, sitting upright now in the tub, her breasts complete visible above the water, and to top it all she was sure he could see the way that they were reacting to his intense gaze.
Mortified at the way she must be looking, she immediately slid back down under, her cheeks flaming red … “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” She questioned instead harshly trying to control the tremble in her voice.
Her voice brought him out from the spell he was under. ‘Er … I …” he started mumbling … groaning inwardly at his behaving tongue-tied like an adolescent.
Clearing his throat to start over he began again, “You have been lying there for god knows how long… dinner was at 8 … when u didn’t show up, I came to check.” He finished lamely.
“You don’t believe in knocking?” she threw at him angrily … both of them suddenly looked at each other recalling another time at a business trip when she had walked into him and Maya and the dressing down he had given her later.
“I did,” he informed her patiently, “not once but many times.” He continued to stand there transfixed to the spot.
“Do you mind?” Kalpi asked sarcastically looking at the door pointedly. She needed to get out of here and into some clothes … she felt at such a disadvantage with him towering over her bare body like that!
Pursing his lips and biting back another retort, he spun around and left her alone in the bathroom.
Kalpi sat still for a few minutes taking in what had just happened. How could she have just fallen asleep and forgotten the time. She had not even made her customary call back home to speak with Ranveer when he returned from playschool. She could have easily called when she had been alone earlier in the room… but she were so busy with her thoughts of Raghav that it had not even struck her, she thought guiltily.
She would make a quick call right now before she joined Raghav for dinner outside. Yes ... that is what she would do she decided and stepping out of the bath draped herself in one of the fluffy cream towels. Pulling the clip from her hair she opened the door of the bathroom stepping into the room to come to a standstill as she saw Raghav still there drawing the curtains across the bay windows at the other end.
Raghav watched the door of the bathroom open within minutes of his leaving it. He had just walked across to draw the curtains to afford her some privacy to change before dinner, when he heard the click of the door behind him. He watched in fascination as she walked out removing her clip and the hair tumbled down over her bare shoulders in a mass of silk. Her body still moist and aglow and a towel barely covering her.
Drawing in a ragged breath he started walking firmly towards the door wanting to put as much distance between them before he gave in to temptation. He had planned on romancing her completely over dinner and convincing her that they belonged together … that she could trust him … that she had to stop thinking the worst of him like always.
Somewhere between the window and the door, his resolve started failing. It may have been the tiny whimper or the look in her eyes, but coming to a halt next to her and before either of them could react, he roughly pulled her into his arms. She’d been disturbing him for too many frustrating hours. As his lips touched hers, Kalpana kissed him back fervently. It was what she had been wanting and the thought that she ought to pull free did not even strike her. Her arms had already wrapped themselves around his neck tightly and she was kissing him back so deeply that she did not recognise herself.
The feel of his strong hard body pressing against her felt so good, the tide of pleasure that went rushing through her made her gasp and quiver feverishly as he explored her mouth with a deep intimacy which had her lips open wider in need for more. His masculine growl excited her as she relished the power she had over him.
Saying good-bye to his faltering self-control and thoughts of a romantic dinner he tightened his arms around her and lifted her up against him and wrapped her legs around his waist, before turning and carrying her across to the bed. This time he planned to love her properly … not some quick stolen moments like the last time. He had the whole night to show she how much he loved her.
He laid her gently on the bed. Her hair flowed across the pillow; her hands still held his head. Her eyes were closed, her soft lips parted, and she was shaking softly. She did not seem to have any control over what she was feeling. Control, he realised, belonged completely to him.
Her restless fingers trailed his nape, and slithered down his chest, and he groaned as his body responded violently. She felt the bunched muscles of his shoulders and held nothing back that he felt so intoxicated by her he sunk them both down until all she could do to was cling to him and let him dictate the rest.
Wild pleasure took her over, her body arching and trembling as she gasped out his name again and again. Passion, desire, the suppressed love of all those wasted years overrode everything. He made love to her slowly and erotically and intensely, his sensual caresses moving her closer and closer to a place she had never been before.
“I love you,” he whispered hoarsely in her ear. She reveled in the slow sensual reactionary quivers that brought her downwards slowly, the awareness of his skin against hers. The way he still held her, close, so close, whispering his love.
Easing her of his weight, he slid onto his side, taking her with him. Content to remain lost in the hazy aftermath of sweet pleasure, it was all she could do to curl against the man who her first love and had just made her feel so beautiful and gloriously passionate.
Smiling at his soft whispered kisses across her face, she thought at the back of her mind, I need tell him about Ranveer. But forgot everything when he once again caught her mouth and ravished its soft swollen fullness with erotic thoroughness. She could think of nothing else but the intensity of what was building between them.
Curled up in his arms, in the aftermath, Kalpana mustered up the courage to share the knowledge of his son with him. She moaned softly not knowing where to begin.
“I think we need to feed you, beautiful” and before she could say a word Raghav had jumped out of the bed, pulled on his trousers and throwing his discarded shirt at her, walked out of the room, with a wink and instructions to be out of bed.
Kalpana sat up and buried her face in her hands … God! What was she going to do? He had just shared the most beautiful moments with her … she blushed at the thought of his words that followed each kiss across her flamed body. Yes, she had to tell him … she would face the consequences … it was only right he knew. She would deal with his temper … didn’t she always deal with it in the past.
Pulling on the shirt he had thrown at her, she walked barefoot out of the room hesitatingly looking about her for the housekeeper. Hearing sounds from what she assumed was the kitchen, she walked through the living room, catching a glimpse of a beautifully laid out table for two on the deck outside. Oh dear! His housekeeper had gone into so much trouble for dinner, and they had just … going red all over again, she moved towards where the sounds where coming from.
He stood with his back to her at one of the kitchen counters. His naked back tapering into the slim figure hugging trousers that he had hurriedly pulled on. He admired his muscular frame and again blushed when she looked to see the marks her nails had left on his bare skin.
She must have let out a stifled groan, because he turned slowly to look at her fidgeting near the door, trying to pull the shirt down over her bare thighs when she saw him glance at her legs. Would she please stop blushing, she reprimanded herself angrily.
“That certainly looks better on you than me,” he winked wickedly again at her. “Come,” he commanded putting some dishes on a high counter in the middle of the kitchen. She saw that he had pulled out plates laid two places there next to each other. Walking to the fridge, he pulled out a bottle of wine that he proceeded to pour into the two wine glasses also laid at the counter.
“I …” Kalpana started to stammer, and clearing her throat again repeated, “I don’t drink.” He continued to stare at her, then turned and took out a jar of milk from the fridge, lifting it towards her questioningly.
Nodding gratefully, she sat on the high chair uncomfortable aware of the shirt riding up further. Standing next to her he filled her glass with the cold milk, and sat down beside her to serve her dinner.
“Er … your housekeeper… er ...” Kalpana fumbled her mind running amok with him sitting next to her, his chest all bare. He could have put on a shirt, she thought hotly, her fingers itching to touch his muscular frame. And on top of that he was sitting most calmly, eating as if it was the most usual thing for them to be sitting her half undresses sharing dinner! What was happening to her? His proximity was making a mess out of her.
“Is not here … left for her home,” he completed her unsaid sentence, filling a spoon with some rice and holding it against her mouth. She opened her mouth and took the food being offered, not knowing what else to do. I really need to tell him and then get thrown out, she thought wildly … “Raghav … I need to … we need to …” she tried to speak before he put anther morsel in her mouth.
“Eat.” He ordered nodding at her untouched plate, “we will talk after that.” He assured and calmly got back to eating and discussing her job and mundane things while she was all but chocking on the delicious food.
Deciding that she could not eat anymore, she pushed her plate aside and took the glass of milk, taking a gulp instead. Keeping the glass down, she felt a prickling sensation and looked to see him looking hungrily at her lips. Reaching out with a muffled oath, he wiped the milk moustache and reached over to gently kiss her.
That was enough to break Kalpana’s resolve she took his face between her hands and kissed him back passionately. With a surprised laugh against her mouth, he stood up from the stool and picking her up in one fluid motion marched up the stairs straight into his bedroom. They had the rest of their lives to talk, he told himself … he needed to make up for all the lost time that they had wasted.
A sound awoke Kalpi as the quiet light of the moon drifted in through the window. She continued to lie there for a few seconds, feeling a warn body behind her, trying to make sense of her unfamiliar surroundings, then she remembered and her heart gave a thump. She heard the sound again, and silently creeping out of bed, glanced at the bedside looking for a watch. She drew in a breath when she came upon her own photograph, in beautiful frame kept on his bedside. She looked about herself taking in the room she knew to be his.
There was the sound again … Kalpi got off the bed and wearing the shirt once again crept out of the room following the buzzing into the bedroom. HER PHONE! Kalpana realized, rushing towards her handbag and pulling out the mobile.
AAI! She read the caller ID … RANVEER! Her first moment of panic!
“Kalpi” aai sounded relieved hearing the phone being connected.
“aai .. ranveer …” Kalpna began, her heart in her mouth
“Kalpi, kitney der sey phone kar rahi hoon main … sab theek hain na wahan beta?” aai asked her … “Kalpi … Cheekoo park mein jhooley sey gir gaya thaa aaj …”
“aai …” Kalpan shut her eyes and hot tears welled up in them.
“ghabra matt … doctor key ley gaye they baba aur plaster bhi laga hain pair mein … sab theek that oh humney socha tu kam pey hain, kal taka a jayegi, aur pareshaan hoti …” aai’s voice trailed off nervously.
“KYA HUA AAI,” Kalpana all but shouted
“Voh Cheekoo … Voh soo hi nahi raha … tab sey roye jaa raha hain aur tujhey yaad kar raha hain … baba ki bhi nahi maan raha … bukhaar bhi chad rha hain … toh mainey socha terey saath baat kar leta phone pey … toh…”
“Kahan hain vo,” Kalpana asked hoarsely, the tears not flowing unabated. “Nahi, aap usey sulaney ki koshish Karen, main abhi apni flight badal key aati hoon … kuch ganhton mein wahan hoongi main.” She changed her mind … she had to get back to Mumbai immediately …
Disconnecting the phone she immediately called Priya … who sleepily took down her instructions and promised to call back immediately. Giving her the whereabouts of Raghav’s villa to get a taxi sent, Kalpi rushed and changed into her clothes and grabbing her bag all but ran out so as not to miss her taxi to the hotel.
The first rays of dawn hit Raghav’s sleeping body on the bed and he stretched contentedly and instinctively reached out for her beside him. Sitting upright he looed around, a feeling of dread hit him coldly.
Throwing away the covers he raced down into the guest room, and saw only the shopping bags and his discarded shirt lying on the bed.
HELL! How could she do this again? After what they shared last night … how could she BLOODY DO IT AGAIN! He thundered. Running up for his phone, he dialed the hotel only to be told that Ms Jhadav had checked out early in the morning. He threw his phone angrily on the bed, and sat at the edge with a thud, running his fingers through his hair.
NOW WHAT!
“SAMMY” … Raghav barked on the phone, completely disregarding his friend’s sleepy grumble.
“GET UP SAMMY”… he continued to shout urgently “SHE’S GONE.”
“Raghav” Sammy ground out looking at his wrist watch sleepily … “Goddammit … do you know what the time is?” … “Who’s gone?” … “Mrs. Kumar…?”
“SHUT UP SAMMY” Raghav bellowed, “Kalpi has gone!”
“Wooo … wait a minute …” Sammy sat up in bed, trying not to wake up Shruti. Silently getting out of bed, he walked out into the hotel balcony, taking in the sun rising above the Dubai skyline. “Kalpi?” he questioned once he was out of hearing range of Shruti. “What about Kalpi?”
Raghav shut his eyes, and tried to calm himself down before telling Sammy about yesterday … well … leaving out the personal bits that is.
“How can she just leave? Have you tried the hotel? Our return flights are scheduled this afternoon onwards …”
“DAMMIT SAMMY” Raghav was losing his cool again “I have called the hotel, she checked out hours ago.”
“Accha, ruk,” Sammy assured him, rolling his eyes at his friends love story that never had a dull moment it seemed. “I’m coming over to your place.”
The luxurious comfort of the Business Class went unnoticed by Kalpana, who wrapped up in her tremendous guilt wept quietly into her handkerchief. She refused anything offered to her by the stewardess, continuing to curse herself, for not calling home … for selfishly having the day for herself. How could you? She berated herself. What sort of mother are you? Why is this plane not landing? Why did I even agree to go for this stupid convention? Why didn’t I leave as soon as it was over? Her head was spinning with ifs and buts and not a single thought of the man she loved and had walked out off with so much as a word.
Raghav stood below the high rise looking up towards the sky. He had been told she lived on the 17th floor. It had taken Sammy and him just a few hours and umpteen phone calls to locate her whereabouts and get him onto the next flight to Mumbai. Glancing at his watch, he decided now was as good a time as any to do this and walked towards the elevators resolutely. It was time to end this cat and mouse game that she had been playing. How could she run away after what they had shared? He thought they had finally connected … He had told her again and again how much he loved her … HECK! He had shown her how much he loved her again and again, he recalled as his body stiffened remembering her yielding body under him.
The ping of the elevator arriving on the 17th floor roused Raghav from his reverie. His bravado suddenly crumbling, he stood outside the door to her apartment, her name clearly printed on a brass place alongside. He resisted the urge to touch the nameplate, and rang the bell instead. He heard her call out to someone from inside that she was getting the door and waited with bated breath to be face to face with Kalpi again.
Unprepared for the sight that greeted him, Raghav stepped back in shock as Kalpana holding a little baby boy on her hips opened the door and stared open-mouthed, her face mirroring his shocked expression. They started at each other in stunned silence questions and answers buzzing unsaid between them.
Her first instinct was to shut the door in his face. As if preempting that Raghav stepping forward as if in a trance and put his hand on the frame, more to keep from falling than anything else. He looked at the little boy clutching Kalpi and staring at him with interest. His curly black hair and toffee brown eyes looked terribly familiar. There was a plaster on his foot.
It was the little boy in her arms who finally broke the silence between them saying “Papa?”
Kalpi groaned at aai’s insistence of constantly showing Ranveer pictures of his father! How much they had argued over this for the last two years!
“He called me ‘Papa’…” Raghav murmured, fascinated by the little boy. He looked up at Kalpi’s stricken face … “I was going to tell you Ra...” she trailed off unconvincingly.
“Kalpi, kaun hain wahan…” aai called out from inside. Kalpana shut her eyes in defeat … this was only getting worse!
“Raghav baba”… aai’s warm shocked tones sounded behind Kalpi. NOW its gotten worse, Kalpi wanted to laugh hysterically.
‘Kamla maa…” Raghav looked warmly at aai then back again at Ranveer.
“I think you better come in, Raghav.” Kalpana decided not to prolong this everyone-greeting-each-other-in-shocked-tones any further. It was time for the confrontation.
Walking into a living room strewn with toys and the TV playing a cartoon channel Raghav looked around with interest, noticing the pictures of his and Kalpi’s engagement and sangeet displayed on one of the sideboards.
“Papa.” The boy pointed at him again looking at his nani aai for confirmation of his recognizing feat.
“Er … Raghav …” Kalpi hesitatingly began.
“This is why you ran away five years ago…” Raghav wondered aloud as realization dawned on him … “You kept my…”
“He is MY son, Raghav.” Kalpi shot out vehemently. “You married Pakhi remember? What were you going to do with pregnant me?” She ended snidely.
“Kalpi” aai’s soft warning tones came from beside her. She looked down to see Ranveer staring at her perplexed, as if asking why mumma was angry.
“Its ok baby” she cooed giving him a kiss on his forehead and handing him to aai.
“Raghav...” she tried to start again once aai had taken Ranveer to his room. She turned to see Raghav staring at where they had just disappeared behind a shut door.
“What’s his name?” he ground out hoarsely
“Ranveer … Ranveer Singhania,” She said in a small voice.
“Ranveer …” Raghav repeated in wonder
“Why did you do it Kalpi?” He turned towards her and asked harshly. “You did not think I had a right to know.” He accused his voice rising.
“I did what I had to …” she countered fiercely, about to tell him not to shout. “Did you expect me to sit and watch you and Pakhi take away my son too…”
“OUR son,” he gritted out correcting her heatedly. “What happened to his leg?” Raghav asked suddenly remembering the plaster.
“He fell from the swing yesterday.” Kalpi informed him falteringly.
“And is that why you ran away again this morning?” he questioned softly.
“Look Raghav …” she tried to talk this out sensibly … his jumping from one question to another was unnerving her.
“You were planning on hiding him from me for exactly how long?” he cut her short coldly.
“I was not!” she denied vehemently. “I was going to tell you when we … when you …” her voice trailed off sheepishly.
“Yes? Before or after you jumped into bed with me?” He asked nastily. “You were planning to disappear again were you not?”
“No, Raghav …” she began pleadingly when another door banged open and baba came striding out in a temper.
Raghav turned to greet him, but before he could get in a word baba coldly asked him to leave. “bahut dukh diye hain tumney Kalpi ko… ab usko chod do. Voh khush hain tumharey bina…”
Kalpana reached out to stop baba … no she didn’t want him to speak to Raghav like this… but before she could say anything Raghav nodded at both of them and walked out, shutting the door behind him.
The eerie silence that now surrounded the living room sent a shiver down Kalpi’s spine. This did not look good at all … she looked at baba pleadingly, and he just turned and walked back into his room in silence.
Raghav banged his fist on the elevator button in the lift lobby outside. How could she do this? How could she have lied and hidden his son from him all these years? Dammit! Did she realize what she had done? He heard Ranveer’s baby voice saying ‘papa’ and shut his eyes and an unfamiliar warmth spread across his chest. A violent anger suddenly overtook that warmth … anger at how much he had lost in all these years … anger at Kalpi … her parents … his mother … Pakhi … WHAT THE HELL! Did he not deserve any happiness? Why was it that whenever he thought things were ok they would all completely shatter him? Yesterday was possibly the happiest day he had spent in a long long time, finally relaxed and with the only woman he ever loved. And now today … THIS! He had half a mind to storm back inside and sort this out once and for all. NO … He had let his temper always get the better of him and always ruined situations … he needed to find a way around this calmly and sensibly. After a moment’s hesitation, he took out his mobile and dialed his lawyer.
Inside the apartment Kalpi paced the living room twisting her fingers in agitation. What was she to do now? She did not have his mobile or even know where he lived … how on earth was she to find him even if she wanted to. The way he had left, she had a terrible premonition of the worst to come. How could she work around his anger when she could not even find him, and did not know where to start?
But first things first … with a determined firmness she walked towards her parent’s bedroom to speak with baba. It was time he stopped treating her like a young girl. She was a mother now … she ran a full bank for goodness sake … he needed to let her make her own mistakes and live her life with her own choices. He had to stop hanging on to the past … she had to convince him of the love she had seen in Raghav‘s eyes yesterday … he just had to understand her point of view too. Suddenly she realized how much both Ranveer and she needed Raghav now … and this time she was not running away from anything. She would face his anger, his accusations … everything.
Taking a deep breath she opened the door to baba’s room and stepping in shut it quietly behind her.
They were all seated at the dining table when the doorbell ran again later than evening. Kalpi looked nervously at aai and baba, her feeling of dread written all over her face. Even Ranveer was fussing over his food as if sensing his mother’s agitation. A part of her hoped that Raghav had come back … for whatever reason ... to shout at her … to fight with her … but as long as he was back, she would at lest be able to speak with him.
Pushing her chair back, she walked slowly to the open the door, her instincts telling her it was Raghav at the other side.
Relief at finding him at the door was soon replaced with apprehension when she took in his rigid stance. He was still in the same clothes he had come in earlier, unshaven and tired he stared at her for a short moment before looking past her towards Ranveer still fussing over the meal with aai. Pushing past her he walked into the room and towards the dining table where Ranveer became silent … staring at his father with his head cocked to a side. “Papa” he told aai again expecting to be rewarded with his usual hug.
“Raghav …” Kalpi moved in behind him wanting to speak with him.
He turned harshly back at her “I will not let your silly stubbornness push me out this time, Kalpana.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. He had not called her ‘Kalpi’ … bad … bad … sign!
“I’m not pushing you out,” she denied vehemently “I just …”
“Drop it,” he commanded and handing her a huge manila envelope moved towards where Ranveer sat on aai’s lap at the dining table. Pulling out a chair next to them he sat and stared in fascination at the baby who started back equally fascinated.
Kalpi looked down at the envelope, saw the insignia of the court and felt the colour drain from her face. NO … he could not do this … he could not take Ranveer away from her … she had thought she would talk to him … that they could work out … she watched in slow motion the room become hazy … baba who was facing her get up and reach out his hand slowly and Raghav turn and pushing himself off the chair to hold her mid fall before everything went black.
“Kalpi… paani aai…” she heard his voice instructing aai … he had not called her ‘Kamla maa’ Kalpi noted even through the haze. She was on one of the sofas and he was keeling besides her rubbing her hand between his.
Aai rushed near with a glass of what but stopped short when she saw Kalpana’s eyes open and staring at a flustered Raghav. A small smile played on her lips as she watched them together and she turning and gave a knowing smile to her husband who held Ranveer aloft while they attended to Kalpi.
“You …” Kalpi said hoarsely “that …” pointing to the envelope that was now on the floor …”Please Raghav … don’t do this…” she pleaded while trying to sit up and clutch at his hands.
“Shhhh … sweetheart,” he whispered softly. The lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything. She thought he was going to take her son away from her … she had again thought the worst of him! This had gone on long enough he decided and turning towards aai and baba motioned them to sit on the sofa next to where Kalpi sat now.
Kneeling in front of three of them … Four actually if you counted Ranveer who had begun to fidget at the silence, Raghav drew in a ragged breath and decided to risk everything on one last throw of the dice.
“I love you.” He spoke directly to Kalpi holding her hands. “Since meeting you again two days ago I have come to admire and love you more than any other woman on earth. Because the thought of having to allow you to walk out of my life for a second time is totally destroying me!”
Kalpi stared at him. Simply stared. Rendered completely and utterly dumbstruck by what he had just said. By how he looked ... The pain of his eyes, and the tension in his face and body were all showing how important her answer was to him.
He was not taking Ranveer from her? But those papers? … She hesitated, a bubble of happiness, pure unadulterated happiness, beginning to rise within her
Raghav turned towards aai and baba running an agitated hand through the dark thickness of his hair … last time he had left too much to chance ... not this time.
“Aai … baba … main Kalpi sey bahut pyar karta hoon … bahut galtiyaan kari, par ab please… mujhey Kalpi dey dijiyey … aur Ranveer bhi” he glanced at his son in tenderness. “ek minute ..” he muttered suddenly getting up and walking out of the front door, leaving three stunned people sitting on the sofa looking after him.
Kalpi couldn’t move for several seconds, the closing of the front door finally moved her into action as she hurried into the hallway and wrenched that door open.
His back was towards her as he stood in the hall wiping his tears. The bubble of happiness inside her became bigger, and then bigger still, until she felt full to bursting with it.
‘Where are you going?’ leaning against the door she demanded dazedly. ‘You know Raghav, its was always me you taunted for running away,” she teased, remembering all the times he had pushed her to react. She walked slowly towards him. He looked down at her as she came to a halt in front of him – so petite, and yet so very strong; she had to be to have stood up to him the past two days! So young and yet at the same time so wise and knowing. And she held his heart in the palms of her tiny hands…
He reached out to grasp both of those hands in his. ‘I really am sorry for the way I have behaved, Kalpi.’
‘How sorry?’ she asked cheekily loving this serious Raghav who she seemed to have such control over.
‘Very sorry.’ He muttered fervently
‘And…?’
‘I really am very, very sorry?’ he questioned, not understanding where this conversation was going.
‘And…?’ she repeated with some frustration. “You are supposed to repeat your proposal now silly.” Oh, what the hell!’ she dismissed, throwing her arms around his neck as she finally allowed her happiness to show. ‘Forget the questions … my answer is yes!’ She beamed up at him glowingly.
Raghav’s arms moved possessively about her slender waist as he looked down at her hungrily. He really loved her.
“Good,” he said firmly, “because that envelope contains a special license for us to be married tomorrow morning.
She reached up and tenderly touched the side of his face, realizing such a fool she had been, thinking that he could hurt her in any way.
“I already love you and want to marry you,’ she revealed huskily.
Raghav looked stunned for a second, then the hunger in his eyes deepened as she allowed him to see all the love for him she had been keeping in check … For so long.
***
Two wonderful months later, Raghav strode into the bedroom seeing Kalpi standing in front of a wardrobe full of clothes chewing her finger nails.
“You’re supposed to be dressed by now…” he frowned “the kids have already started arriving...”
“Is it that late?” Looking back at him, Kalpi felt the usual shiver inside her watching him look so deliciously gorgeous in a steel grey suit. She felt a moment of possessiveness at the thought that every single bit of him belonged to her.
“Kalpi!” he growled seeing her expression, “we have a birthday party for our son… do not tempt me to miss it” he added mock seriously.
“aai hain na neechey?” she asked him distractedly her hands stopping on the red dress, a mischievous glint coming into her eyes. “You don’t want to help me get dressed,” she challenged seductively, “I was thinking of wearing the red dress that …”
“Don’t even think about it,” Raghav narrowed his eyes, imagining how she had looked in that red dress. Then throwing caution to the winds he responded with a lusty growl “Maybe afterwards … Private viewing.’
And he captured her in a long sweet kiss.
EPILOGUE
Dear nani-aai,
Sammy chachu promised me that he would read this email out to you in Hindi when he visits you. He and Shruti chachi just stayed with us and I had lots of fun with Pranav.
Mumma told me that you will come here to stay with us next month. I am very excited and want to show you all my new toys and my room and the new cycle that papa has bought me and my new school and my new friends in the park. Mumma says papa ‘spoils’ me and gets angry with him … but then she hugs me and kisses me a lot which I don’t like too much as her tummy is big and fat now.
Papa says I am going to get a baby sister. Nani, can I tell you a secret … I don’t want a sister. I want a brother like Pranav.
Papa is forever kissing mumma and that is so yucky. But mumma is pretty, not like the silly girls in my class. I will never kiss them.
I miss your masala bhindi. Papa says his favourite is also the masala bhindi you make. When you come here, will you make it every day for me and papa.
I have to go now, as mumma is calling me down for doing my homework. I hate that too by the way. Papa tries to do it for me quietly but then mumma catches him and gets angry and he kisses her again… YUCK!
I will go now nani-aai ... and I am counting the days when you and baba will come. Papa has promised to take me to the airport in his big black car.
I love you nani.
Chikoo
PS: You must not call me Chikoo in front of my friends now. Please call me Ranveer when you visit us.
Thoughts of Kalpi assaulted his senses as he shook himself, signalling the waiter to refill his glass of single malt. There was no point in dwelling on the past, he told himself for the millionth time, knowing that it was futile. The cold emptiness surrounding his heart was proof enough. Over time, he had gotten used to living with it … but it was times when he remembered her that showed him the acute ache that even the years had not lulled.
Where was she? How was she? Damn! Why did she have to leave without speaking with him … without telling him anything? Because I would not have let her go, he answered himself harshly, as always.
This constant monologue with himself needed to stop, he told himself firmly. Get a grip Raghav. She’s gone … you looked for her for years … its time to get control of your feelings now. With a firm nod as if making a decision, he gulped the refilled whiskey in one gulp and decided to mingle. Sammy had insisted he attend today’s gala dinner, as the ‘glitterati’ of the corporate and business world were all there. It was the annual meet to felicitate the various corporate and business heads over a lavish weekend in Dubai organized by the association.
Raghav Singhania, himself the president of the builders association for the past one-year had expanded and moved business to the UAE while Sammy handled the India operations. Starting out life anew in Dubai was meant to be a healing process from the tumultuous year he had spent with Kalpi. Throwing himself into work was the only reason he had remained sane. That and Sammy’s support, he reminded himself ruefully, spotting the man of his thoughts up ahead among a group of people.
‘Hey Raghav,” Sammy greeted him as he neared them. Half-heartedly, Raghav shook hands with all the men Sammy introduced, his only wish that the evening would end and he would go home to his serene villa at the Palm Jumeirah. He looked forward to his solitude. He had lived with it long enough before Kalpi had come into his life and changed everything. Made him smile, made him want to care … to be cared for … and now … again back to his loneliness. His mother had remained back in Mumbai at the Singhania mansion when he had decided to move out after his disastrous marriage to Pakhi.
Damn! He shook himself, admonishing himself for this uncalled for trip down memory lane. Why the hell was he thinking about all of that today? Why were his memories that he had learnt to keep under control, threatening to spill out today? He deserved to be alone. Heck! He wanted to be alone … he liked being alone.
“Raghav!” Sammy’s softly whispered rebuke brought him back to the present. Smiling sheepishly at his friend, whom he feared could sometimes actually read his thoughts, Raghav turned towards the dais at one end of the ballroom, where the felicitation ceremony was to begin, clapping customarily.
***
“And now … we invite the youngest awardee for this years ‘CEO of the year’ … Her sustained performance and the high level of employee engagement, leadership development and strategic alignment of the bank and its customers, in just a few years has earned her this special honour amongst her peers. Known for her relentless drive and willingness to take on any challenge, please put your hands together for Kalpana Jhadav, Chief Executive, City National Bank … our CEO of the year.
The glass nearly fell from Raghav’s hands as his complete attention was riveted towards the stage. He felt Sammy’s hand on his arm, steadying him as he watched in shocked silence Kalpi … his Kalpi walk gracefully up the dais.
The coral pink chiffon sari that she had draped gracefully enhanced her dusky beauty, and a pair of solitaires on her ears the only adornment that twinkled when she walked. Her long lustrous hair, that she had always kept open, was tied up in a cluster of curls, and he looked longingly at a few tendrils that had escaped and were kissing the nape of her slim neck.
He felt Sammy’s hand tighten on his arm, and was sure he must have groaned aloud as he watched the subject of his dreams accept the gleaming trophy and turn towards the audience in one fluid motion. Confidence oozed from every pore in her body, and Raghav wondered where his shy, nervous Kalpi had gone.
“I would just like to thank my mother, whose dream I fulfill today. It has been a journey of struggles for her and I dedicate this award to her as it is more hers than mine. And of course, the association for bestowing me with this honour.” Her wry smile didn’t reached eyes, Raghav noticed, as she smiled smoothly and handled all the attention quite easily.
Suddenly a thought hit him. ‘Did you know this?” He rasped, addressing Sammy, his eyes never leaving the stage where he watched her walk down and get immediately engulfed by people.
***
Kalpana felt overwhelmed and a feeling of immense sadness engulfed her. Blinking back a smattering of tears she went about the customary thanks and small talk that she had become so used to. It was all so superfluous, and she asked herself if at the end of it all was it really worth it. She felt tired. She wanted to be home. She wanted to be pampered with aai’s poha and masala tea. Most of all she wanted to cuddle in bed with Ranveer.
A small indulgent smile crept on her coral glossed lips unknowingly as she thought of her last conversation with him, just before she left her hotel room upstairs to attend this event. His childlike laughter as his ‘nani-aai’ fed him his favourite masala bhindi could always make the sun shine for her in an instant.
Ranveer, her only reason to carry on these past five years … her only joy and comfort … her only strength … her son … and the reason she had walked out of Raghav Singhania’s life for good five years ago, never to turn back.
It had been the simplest decision to make the day she had discovered she was pregnant. The realization, that somewhere along the way, she had given up on her dreams and aspirations … aai’s dreams and aspirations. So lost was she in Raghav’s love that nothing else had mattered … all she had ever wanted after falling in love was to be by his side ... to love him, care for him. And even after the shock and pain of losing him to Pakhi, like a gullible fool she had even agreed to wait for him for a year till he could be with her.
It had taken the news of her pregnancy for her to come to her senses finally. Pakhi had taken too much from her already … aai’s love … Raghav’s love and she would be damned if she was going to let her take away her baby now.
“Maam?” her assistant Priya whispered, as she stood immobile and lost in thought amongst colleagues and acquaintances. Had someone asked her something, she wondered wildly, as she looked at the expectant faces around her waiting for her to reply.
With practiced ease, Kalpana put out her best social smile and elegantly handled the group moving back into the conversation easily. Memories had to placed on the back burner … they caused her nothing but pain. She should be happy today … she was a ‘memsahib’ … and a very successful one at that. Her sea-facing penthouse, luxurious car, plush office and lifestyle were proof enough of that. She had come a long way from the noisy chawl in Andheri … a long way from the naïve Kalpi that she had been ... believing in people, enjoying the small joys of living as a family.
***
“DID YOU?” Raghav turned furiously towards Sammy. “You knew all along where she was”, he snarled angrily staring accusingly at his best friend.
“I did not.” Sammy informed him coolly. “I just heard someone mention her name earlier this evening, but was not sure myself.” He was staring intently at Raghav, wondering what his volatile friend would do now … unpredictable that he was with his emotions!
“Like HELL!” Raghav muttered and brushing off Sammy’s hand started purposefully towards the one woman who still had the power to take over his senses completely. He needed answers and he was hell bent on getting them now that she was finally here in the same room as him.
***
Raghav slowed his pace as he neared the group where he could clearly see her smiling and talking to people. He paused, his eyes taking her in greedily. She was not the slight, lissom girl that he remembered … though she was still slim and willowy there was a certain fullness to her … his eyes ran a trail from the dusky beauty of her face to her full breasts covered by the sheer fabric of her sari. A thin gold chain nestled in between her lush cleavage, and Raghav remembered the softness he had felt that night of the sangeet in the chawl when he had sneaked her up to the roof. He felt a tightening in his body as memories of that sensual night came flooding back, unabated. She had resisted him initially, but then her traitorous body had betrayed her and she had lost herself to his ministrations her soft moans driving him over the edge himself. Jeeze, he shuddered. He had actually made love to her without a care that someone could have walked in on them … he, the always-in-control Raghav Singhania had complete lost control that night as he had made her his in every sense of the word. They had gone through the rest of the wedding functions in a romantic haze of stolen moments and kisses till it all ended in a fiasco on their wedding day.
Yes, she was a woman now, he concluded getting back to the subject of his observation. A very lush, desirable woman. One that his body was telling him he wanted. And one he had every intention of getting before this night was through.
Kalpana felt a tingling sensation down her spine even before she met his eyes. A sense of foreboding hit her as her toffee brown startled eyes met his charcoal black ones across the few feet that separated them.
NO! She felt the colour wash way from her face and reeled backwards on the high stilettoes that she preferred to wear with saris. She blinked once, as if to clear her head … these memories were once again making her see him everywhere.
Looking up a second time, she felt the colour rush up to her ashen cheeks as she watched him look her up and down with a sardonic raise of his eyebrow. Oh God! It was him … it was not her imagination … Raghav Singhania was standing in front of her in flesh and blood … and that too in Dubai of all the places.
She had always dreamt of various scenarios of their meeting again … where she would laugh and throw her success at his face … where she would have him pleading with her, asking forgiveness … and none of those was even comparable to what was happening right now. It was nightmare she had walked into …
RANVEER! Her protective-mummy-mind clicked into full force … No, she was not going to share her precious baby … NO … she would not let him know.
Raghav watched in fascination as Kalpi’s face turned from white to pink as she blushed under his focused gaze. In her eyes he saw shock … disbelief … and finally terror. Terror? he wondered. Was he seeing fright on her face? Before he could analyze the expression, he saw the mask of cool social propriety fall back on her face as she stared back at him calmly as if challenging him to speak with her.
Pushing himself off the pillar that he was unconsciously leaning on Raghav sauntered the few paces to come stand in front of her … he felt a moment of pride when he saw her bravado falter for a second and sensed her body tense in awareness. Oh yes, she was not immune to him after all, he thought smugly. This was going to be an interesting even after all.
“Congratulations, Ms. Jhadav” he murmured huskily, holding out his hand to shake hers.
Kalpana stared at him and then at his outstretched hand, sure that her mouth had fallen open. Get a grip on yourself, girl … she shook herself mentally … you are not that giddy 21-year-old anymore!
“Mr. Singhania.” She acknowledged with a slight nod and after a slight hesitation put her hand into his calloused one.
The current that shot through her hand did not escape him either as they quickly parted, embarrassed.
Kalpana started at him as if in a trace as she heard music startup and Raghav reach out his hand once again requesting for a dance. Her whole being was focussed on him … it was as if they were the only two people in this whole universe and she was floating into his arms silently as if it was the only place she belonged. Raghav twirled her on to the dance floor, his warm hand burning an imprint on her waist as he pulled her against him.
Yes … he thought to himself … she belonged to him … this was where she was always meant to be … in his arms.
Kalpana could not think straight. What was happening? He was twirling her around the dance floor as that day long ago at the office masquerade party. Her body was once again behaving with a mind of its own, not letting her head and sanity take any control over the situation.
“You look beautiful”, he murmured huskily from somewhere above her head. Kalpi stared at the exposed skin of his neck where his shirt had parted, stifling an urge to reach out and touch her lips to the bronzed skin. She moved stiffly in his arms, cursing him silently for doing this to her yet again. After all these years, all the possible scenarios of getting her revenge, she was still putty in his arms … ready to do as he said. So much for your IIM honours Kalpi, she admonished herself, ruefully.
“We need to talk, Kalpi”, he whispered in her ear, his warm breath giving her goose bumps.
OK, that’s it … Hearing him call her Kalpi was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on her. Enough to make her come to her senses! Shutting her eyes for a second and putting on her best cool professional expression, Kalpana looked up into his face, silently praying to Lord Ganesha to give her the courage to survive this evening.
“How is Pakhi, Mr Singhania?” she asked him coolly.
Raghav stiffened.
“Is that why you ran away five years ago?” he questioned her instead, staring intently into her eyes.
“No, Mr. Singhania. I woke up.” She retorted hotly. “Lets just say, I came to my senses.” She gave a shrill laugh, feeling the need to escape immediately before she lost it completely.
She stepped away from his embrace, before he could react and turned and disappeared into the crowd of dancers.
And that is how Sammy found Raghav a couple of minutes later … standing alone on the dance floor, a stunned dreamy expression on his face, staring after the flurry of coral chiffon that just disappeared.
“Raghav,” Sammy shook his shoulder, bringing him back to the present.
“She can’t run away a second time, Sammy,” Raghav said turning wearily towards him, “I need to speak with her.” He looked pleadingly at his friend, his stern appearance fading away completely.
“You will,” Sammy placated him as always. “Just let her be tonight … she also has seen you after five years, Raghav.” He explained gently, not wanting Raghav to do anything rash. “We will find her tomorrow. She has to be staying at the hotel itself … the Association has arranged for all the delegates to be accommodated here and even sightseeing etc. planned over the weekend.”
***
Kalpana shut the door of her room and leaned against it in relief. She looked around the swanky suite that she had been given. She had worked hard for this. This had been her dream always … a nagging voice whispered otherwise … no, this was aai’s dream … your dream was to be married to Raghav and live happily ever after.
Shutting her eyes, as if to shut out the memories, Kalpana pushed herself away from the door after latching it securely and sitting on the edge of the bed, dialled home. It would be late she knew, but she needed to hear a familiar voice, she needed to hear the security of home in aai’s voice.
“Aai?” Kalpana questioned nervously when she heard the call connect.
“Kalpi” … she heard the smile in aai’s voice and felt a warmth surging through her body. Leaning back against the headboard, she heard aai rattle off Ranveer’s latest antics … ‘chikoo’ aai had named him fondly.
“Kalpi … sab theek hain na wahaan pey,” aai’s worried voice came over the mobile as she heard no response from Kalpana.
“Haan aai … err …” Kalpana hesitated unsure if she should share her meeting with Raghav. Aai had been distraught since the whole wedding fiasco but had been a pillar of strength for Kalpi once they got confirmation of her pregnancy a month later. Though still not comfortable with the idea of Kalpi being a single unmarried mother, she was practical enough to realize that her daughter needed her family support more than anything else. She had watched with pride Kalpi turn from a young girl into the confident woman she now was today.
They had moved to Ahmedabad immediately where Kalpi had secured admission for the One Year Post-Graduate programme in management and come through with honours. Aai realized that she had not shown her love and support for Kalpi through her growing years, and by standing by her when her daughter needed her the most she felt she was in her own small way making some amends.
A placement with the bank and then there was no stopping Kalpi. It was as if she was driven by some force, working day in and day out. They moved back to Mumbai, but not to the chawl. The sea-facing penthouse was lonely for Kamla, but Ranveer and Vitthal kept her on her toes. Not used to the luxuries of servants, aai had insisted on at least doing the cooking. Baba had agreed wholeheartedly, of course. And of course aai’s ‘chikoo’ … she had to look after him herself … between his grandparents the spoiled and pampered him so much that Kalpana would at times even feel a slight bit of envy.
“Aai, Raghav hain yahan par,” Kalpi suddenly blurted out.
“Raghav baba?” aai whispered painfully.
Kalpana curbed her first reaction to admonish her mother not to call him ‘baba’ … she was not their maid anymore, she thought angrily.
“Haan aai … miley thay mujhey abhi kuch der pehelay.”
Silence.
Kalpana could picture aai thinking about this new turn of events.
“Chikoo kay baarey mein bataya tuney?” aai questioned quietly.
Kalpana shut her eyes and said a silent prayer. This had been the only bone of contention between them for the past five years. Aai’s insistence that Raghav needed to know about his son, and her reluctance to do so at all.
“Er .. aai … main … vo …” Kalpana stammered for the appropriate response then decided against hemming and hawing … “nahi”. She ended firmly. “Koi zaroorat nahi samjhi maney.”
“Kalpi…” aai started, only to be cut off by Kalpana, “aai please … aisey kaisey main unhey chikoo key baarey mein party mein bolti?”… “aur vaisey bhi … kya zaroorat hain unhey jaanney ki … ab tak toh unkey aur Pakhi key apney …” she stopped abruptly, hating the picture of Raghav and Pakhi along with their children.
“Par Kalpi …” aai again tried to reason with her Ranveer’s need to have a father, his fathers name … the societal stigmas associated at being unwed with a child.
Kalpana bit back her harsh words that now that they were rich all that did not matter to anyone. But she kept quiet knowing it was a never-ending argument that had been going on between aai and her for the past five years!
Promising to call again tomorrow morning before Ranveer left for his playschool, Kalpana disconnect the call getting up and dejectedly moving towards the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.ss
Sleep was the furthest from her mind when after a while she crawled under the cold empty sheets, curling up on the huge double bed. Over the years she had travelled a bit relating to her work, but tried to keep staying away from Ranveer to a minimum. Only if absolutely necessary, would she agree to travel and that too for not more than a couple of days.
This time she did not stop the memories as tears started flowing unabated down her cheeks. Somewhere deep inside she knew aai was right and Raghav had a right to know about his son. Damn, Ranveer had the right to a father and his love. Right now baba was playing the role of father more than grandfather, and her Ranveer’s whole universe was just the three of them but Kalpi realized that as her precious son was growing up he would need his father.
But what aai did not understand was that Raghav was now married to someone else … she squeezed her eyes shut as a searing pain shot through her at that thought. She knew of Raghav’s volatile anger … his need for revenge … what all he could stoop to if he was hurt by someone … she had seen it all … what would he do if he came to know about Ranveer! Would they take him away from her … would he try and marry her too and keep her and Ranveer in a separate house … would he want to take revenge from her too for disappearing and now hiding a child from him?
NO … she had to spare her child the torture of loving someone and not being able to be together completely … she had protected him all these years. It had been so easy to just disappear without a trace … after all inconsequential small people like they were back then were hardly ever missed in bustling cities like Mumbai. Who had the time! And when she did return to Mumbai a year ago on a posting after a couple of years in Delhi, she was so sure that she would be the last person that Raghav would still be looking for.
Her life was limited to office and back home. She never socialized, ate out or attended any of the office parties. Not only did it not interest her as she’d rather be home spending her free time with Chikoo, but it also kept her and her family insulated from being noticed or recognized.
But all that was over now … she had faced her past tonight and was also sure that Raghav was not going to let her disappear again. It was not going to be easy to vanish once again, now that she was a prominent personality in her own right.
What the hell was he thinking, she muttered suddenly angry with Raghav … he selected Pakhi for his wife … for whatever reason back then … why Deva, could she not be left alone now. She had it all under control till now … and now this stupid award and coming here and meeting Raghav.
She tossed and turned the rest of the night, questions and possible scenarios flitting in and out of her dreams, finally falling into a restless slumber her last thought of how complete she had felt a little while ago in his arms.
***
Elsewhere in Dubai, Raghav strode into his villa throwing his jacket and tie on the settee and walking straight to the bar. At another time he would not have been found dead throwing anything anywhere in his precious house, but he was past caring now. Emptying out a large splash of neat whisky into a glass he stepped out onto the deck overlooking the sea.
Taking a large swig he relished the burning sensation that ran down his throat. DAMN! He muttered … DAMN … DAMN … DAMN! The beauty of the ocean at night, the cool breeze filtering from the beach a few feet away and the full moon shining in the sky were all lost on him right now, as he paced back and forth on the wooden deck.
He had wasted five bloody years … why had he given up the frenzied searching … He slammed his fist on the wooden railing in anger. Why had Sammy not continued to look for her … she was heading a bloody bank for goodness sake! How visible was she, right under their noses … HELL! He had all but given up and resigned himself to a life of loneliness. Or had he thought that she would have never achieved her dream of making something of herself, a sneaking voice asked quietly. Had he even cared for her dreams and wishes ever? So driven by revenge, he had arrogantly ruined three lives without a single care of anyones feelings. Not that his mother and Pakhi were above board, he recalled disgustedly.
At least his mother had had the shame to realize her mistake and make some sort of amends. Her love for her only son finally rising above her need for retribution. Thankfully she saw using him as a pawn to fight personal battles was not worth it.
And Pakhi … a wave of guilt washed over him as always. Yes, he was instrumental in her nervous breakdown … he had had complete disregard for her emotions just as he had treated Kalpi. His grip on the glass tightened as he recalled that fateful day when it all rose to a crescendo … Kalpi and her family disappearing … his mum deciding that this farce of a marriage had to end and Pakhi … passionate crazy Pakhi … unable to handle her separation from her Kamla ma, unable to handle the truth that it would always be only Kalpi for him … unable to face her vicious spiteful actions against her childhood friend had just collapsed and gone into a severe depression … always begging to be forgiven, begging to be taken to Kamla ma … crying and fighting her own demons till her parents decided to seek medical help.
A quick annulment and he was again left alone as the Kapoors along with their daughter moved to London, with his help. He owed Pakhi that much at least understanding her point of view too.
And he was free … just like that … in one swipe everything had worked out … except that he was left all alone … with not a clue where to look for Kalpi … the people at the chawl were most closed about revealing her whereabouts. He understood their solidarity and their wariness towards trusting him. After all they had all been witness to the drama that had unfolded.
Raghav let out a long sigh, as his loneliness and emptiness engulfed him. He had given up searching for Kalpi and now that she was here in Dubai he had again not pursued her, listening once again to Sammy’s advice.
Finishing the rest of his drink in one gulp, he thinned his lips as the decision to not let go this time took shape in his mind. No way was he going to give up this time without a bloody fight if he had to. Enough time had been wasted, too many people needed to heal. He was finally going to take matters in his hands and finally do the right thing. The little spark of hope was the feel of her pliant soft body in his arms on the dance floor.
Yes, it was time to take what was his. What had always been his ... His Kalpi.
***
Kalpana awoke early with a splitting headache and red-sleep-deprived eyes to boot. She glanced at her travel alarm clock on the bedside and reached for her mobile to call aai before Ranveer left for playschool.
“Mumma!” his childish voice came over the line and Kalpana felt a rush of warmth run through her. Everything was all right in her world, she heaved a sigh as she indulgently listened to him prattle about nani-aai and baba taking him to the park. And ending with asking her when she would be back home.
“Very soon my love,” she cooed softly imagining his curly mop of black hair and toffee brown bright eyes so like her own. “Mumma will be with you tomorrow … a huge airplane will take me to my little chikoo just like that” she clicked her fingers to demonstrate.
Aai came on the line informing her that they had to leave … it was a short walk to the playschool from their apartment complex and Ranveer enjoyed the morning walk to his school with his baba.
Promising aai that she would see her tomorrow, Kalpana disconnected the phone getting out of bed to get dressed. She was glad she had declined the sightseeing trip as not only was she feeling like hell right now, she just wanted to shop a bit for Ranveer instead and then relax at the hotel the rest of the day with a book before she would be home in Mumbai tomorrow.
Half an hour later, sitting in the coffee shop near the bay windows over looking the pool, Raghav watched with baited breath as he saw her exit the elevators and walk into the coffee shop where breakfast was laid for the visiting group.
Dressed in a pair of printed flared palazzo plants, teamed with a neon green tee shirt over which she was wearing a white sleeveless shirt that was knotted casually at her slim waist she moved into the room breezily. Raghav actually felt his heart skip a beat as he said a silent prayer that she had not vanished overnight. Her flat gold gladiator sandals twinkled as she walked towards a secluded table at the other end, lost in her thoughts. He noticed that there were slight dark circles under her red eyes, and thought with malicious satisfaction that she too had not slept well after all. Once again she had braided her hair and the thick plait rested on one of her shoulders casually. She had obviously stopped leaving her hair open, Raghav mused distractedly, imagining himself opening her long black tresses soon enough.
Pushing himself up from the chair and motioning the waiter to replace his cup of black coffee he strode purposefully towards her table, where she was in the process of going through something on her phone.
Kalpi knew he was there even before she looked up at him standing beside her table. She took in the low-slung denims that hung snugly on his hips, over the salmon pink tee that fit his broad chest perfectly. She swallowed once as her eyes came to the small vee of exposed skin where his buttons were open and finally straight into his eyes … that raised eyebrow letting her know that he was aware of the effect he was having on her.
Arrogant Pig! She thought angrily, embarrassed at being caught checking him out so blatantly. Turning away she started fumbling with her phone without actually seeing anything on the screen.
“May I?” his deep baritone was like smooth silk on her nerves and she shivered. Without waiting for her answer he puled out a chair and seated himself opposite her comfortably.
Fuming inside, Kalpana put down her phone and turned her khol-rimmed eyes towards him … “no, you may not,” she mumbled rudely, knowing full well that it was futile. Two cups of coffee were placed in front of them and she tried not to fumble while adding sugar to hers.
“How are you?” he asked quietly instead, throwing her off guard. This was the last question she had expected.
“Er … Fine … and you?” she asked as formally as she could muster.
“I’m not ‘fine’ … and you know it Kalpi. Stop this hemming and hawing. We need to talk…” he stated firmly.
How dare he! Kalpana fumed… “and how is Pakhi?” she asked snidely wanting to put him in his place. He was reducing her to a nervous mess already!
“Must be ok … We are no longer together,” he answered carefully, looking for some reaction from her.
The shock must have clearly shown on her face, followed by an overwhelming sense of relief and Kalpana quickly looked down at her coffee cup, as if the brown liquid was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.
“Oh…” she mumbled not having the courage to look up at him, her mind chaotic at this new turn of events.
“Yes ... Oh …” he repeated amused at her fumbling. So much for ‘Ms. CEO of the year’ he thought gleefully. This may work out better than he had imagined.
“Why did you do it Kalpi?” he questioned softly. “I told you to give me time … you even agreed … you knew it was always only you … I never even touched Pa…”
Kalpana looked up suddenly, stopping him mid-sentence. What was she supposed to say now? Yes, she had promised him she would wait … yes she had loved him completely … unconditionally … understanding his pain and his limitations … a niggling feeling told her that she still loved him, just as passionately and completely like she did back then. She would still agree to anything he would ask of her … right here … right now!
But now she had Ranveer, and her only thought always and ever was to keep him protected. A part of her knew that Raghav would never harm them, but he could also be unforgiving … she had hidden his son from him for four years … she was sure his reaction was not going to be a pleasant one!
“Please Ra…” She abruptly stopped as he put his hand on hers across the table.
“Spend the day with me.” He commanded, looking intently into her eyes.
The thick silence between them felt like it was a full twenty minutes long before she managed to break the eye lock and look down at their hands. He was unconsciously gently grazing her wrist with his thumb and it took all of Kalpana’s will power to control the responsiveness of her body to his touch.
“I …” she stammered, not believing that this was actually happening to her. She had been so proud of her self-control and her ability to lock away unwanted emotions … and here she was, after all those many years … still putty in his hands.
Good heavens! What was she supposed to do now?
“I’ll behave myself, I promise.” He swore solemnly, not wanting to scare her away. “Please…” he pleaded applying a little pressure on her hand, still under his on the table.
Kalpana felt her rigidity melting … she felt tempted to get that one last day with him, before she walked away again to her life back in Mumbai. What would one day hurt … she deserved to make some memories to sleep with alone in her bed … and all he was asking was for her to spend the day with him.
Shutting her eyes, as if making a resolve she nodded gently, hoping that it would not be a decision that she would regret later.
***
Moving swiftly as if he feared she may change her mind, he asked her if she wanted to fetch anything from her room before turning to the hotel staff for clearing his bill.
“I’ll be right back,” she murmured huskily, wanting to go up to her room to get her bag, preferably without him following her there. Once in the secure comfort of her suite Kalpana thought about what had just transpired at the breakfast table … had she just agreed to spend the day with him … and just how are you going to buy gifts for Ranveer, she asked herself smartly biting back a groan at what she had done.
“No time to have second thoughts now, Kalpi my girl,” she told herself bravely. You can shop at the duty free for him tomorrow on your way out, and grabbing her bag, all but ran out the room towards the elevators.
She missed the look of relief that swept across Raghav’s face as she stepped out of the lift. Taking her by the elbow he stepped out on to the hotel porch where a black SUV was parked smartly. After seating her comfortably, he grabbed the keys and smoothly moved out of the hotel merging into the city traffic easily.
She nervously fiddled with the strap of her handbag … as the silence in the car engulfed them. Clearing her throat nervously, she asked quietly, ‘Where are we going?”
Her quiet question broke the trance Raghav seemed to be in. “Well, it’s too hot to go sit under a tree in a public park right now and eat local ice-cream,” he teased her tenderly.
She bristled at that. He was making fun of her. ‘That was not even remotely funny,’ she said with icy cold dignity. “Its what most people who cannot afford restaurants do …” she continued hotly, looking out of the window in case he saw the hurt reflected in her eyes.
Turning back to look at him only when she felt his warm hand cover her fidgeting ones in her lap, she felt her heart melt some seeing the teasing sparkle in his eyes. “How about I take you to see the tallest building first?” he changed the subject smoothly turning the car towards their first destination. So many years in Dubai and this was the first time that he himself would have stepped foot anywhere near the Burj Khalifa, Raghav shook his head in wonder. It was too touristy and crowded for his liking, but then he had ridden the local bus in Mumbai with her too. So what the hell, he told himself. At least he was with Kalpi … nothing else mattered right now.
Entering the dark elevator that would take them up Raghav sensed her apprehension. He needn’t have bothered holding her or pulling her towards himself as the rest of the crowd milling inside was doing a perfect job of pushing her against him. For the first time in his life Raghav Singhania actually welcomed the tourists. She was pushed against him; his breath was warm against her ear as she leaned against him in the dark interiors … so physically aware of his hard body behind her. While the rest of their fellow passengers were concentrating at the number panel where floors were swishing past with a scary speed, Kalpi could only think about his muscular body behind hers, his arm instinctively going around her waist, making her lean back further into him. And it was over in a couple of seconds ... they were ushered out to the top of the building from where one could view the entire city.
He patiently pointed out the various landmarks, all the time being the perfect gentleman … as if those moments in the elevator never happened, Kalpi grumbled to herself.
On the way down after a short while, Kalpi was careful to stand a little away from him. Little did she realize how disturbing and frustrating her proximity had been for him. Raghav had been at the edge of saying goodbye to his self-control, had it not been for that bloody promise he had made this morning … to behave himself.
After that he had remained the perfect guide for her, showing her the musical fountains, the aquarium in one of the malls and even a quick lunch at the food court. He helped her shop for a shirt and track suits for baba and a handbag and some lotions for aai … Kalpi looked longingly at a toy store they crossed, but then decided against taking the chance to pick up something for Ranveer … his latest obsession was his growing collection of dinky cars.
“You want to buy something here?” Raghav asked when he felt her pause outside the toy store. Kalpi looked flustered and pointed to the next shop instead hoping it anything but another kids store. “You want to buy a dress?” Raghav said looking at the mannequins in the window displaying the current line of a famous international designer.
Suddenly he felt excited … Yes, this was more like it ... Helping her select a dress. He liked the idea immensely, and started walking into the store determinedly.
“No ... no ...” he heard Kalpi stammer behind him, as he stopped and turned around to see her frozen outside the toy shop next door. “I mean … yes … yes, I wanted to buy a dress.” She stammered, rushing past him into the store.
From there on Raghav just took over … requesting for a selection of dresses for her to try on, discussing the colours and style with the over enthusiastic sales girl, much to Kalpi’s annoyance. She stood sulkily on one side watching the girl flirt outrageously with him as she understood what exactly he wanted taken out for Kalpi.
“Ahem”… finally unable to take anymore, Kalpi cleared her throat nosily, tapping her foot impatiently till they both realized she was waiting for them to finish.
The sales girl blushed, and Kalpi all but rolled her eyes, as she watched her run to fetch whatever it was that Raghav had instructed. Turning her attention to where Raghav stood she said crossly, “I can select my own dress, thank you!” Seeing him raise his eyebrows questioningly at her further incensed her, and she turned and flounced off towards the nearest rack and not bothering to even look pulled out the first dress that she yanked off the hangar and marched to the changing rooms located behind some thick velvet curtains. How dare he flirt right in front of her eyes! How dare he, she muttered slipping on the dress distractedly over her head turning to look at herself in the full-length mirror placed on one side.
Kalpi shrank back in horror from the image she saw in the mirror. The dress was a deep ruby red satin, the strapless bustier began half way down her breasts exposing most of her creamy cleavage. It fell in glossy folds down till her ankles. From somewhere near her upper thighs it had a huge slit running all the way down to the hem, giving glimpses of her dusky long legs as she moved.
Ok … this was so wrong at so many levels, she grumbled as she wondered how she was going to get out of this choice of hers. A sinking feeling told her that he had noticed what she had pulled out! Clutching the bodice up with one hand she hit her forehead with other shutting out the sultry “Jessica Rabbit” image that started back at her from the mirror.
A muffled groan from somewhere behind her alerted her to his presence, and she spun around unaware that her unzipped back was reflected completely in the mirror behind. “What are you doing here?” she whispered hoarsely backing away as she saw him advance towards her slowly, as if in a trance. “Get … g g get out!” she stammered, not too firmly.
“You are not buying that,’ he managed to croak, after clearing his throat twice. “And you’re not wearing it in front of anyone but me anyway…” he stated firmly, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Mr Singhania …” she started saying in her most cold and haughty voice, only to watch with horror as he just reached for her and pulled her into his arms then drove his hungry mouth down onto hers. Kalpi’s eyes widened in shock and she felt the cool surface of the glass as he pushed her against the mirror. The kiss drove out any need for talking … it was hungry and it was deep. Kalpi felt a tide of pleasure as she gasped and quivered feverishly as he explored her mouth like a starved man. The feel of his strong hard masculine body pressing against her felt wonderful. The feel of his hands moving from her neck down her bare back felt delicious. Kalpi had no idea how long they remained like that in the changing room
“Sir?” a timid voice from the other side of the velvet curtain asked hesitatingly. Raghav slowly ended the kiss staring down gently at Kalpi’s upturned face … her eyes closed … and her lips softly parted and bruised from his fierce kiss.
Swearing softly, he zipped her gown and slowly turned her around to face the mirror. Meeting her dazed eyes in their reflection he called out softly, “We’ll take this one.”
***
“I am NOT buying that!” Kalpi retorted hotly, shaking herself out of the dazed stupor, and quelling the desire to pull him back into her arms. Kalpi stared in wonder at their reflection. Why was it that she was all quivering and flustered and he was looking as cool as a cucumber, all under control.
“No, YOU are not,” he agreed calmly still holding her shoulders, both of them reflected in the mirror. “I AM.” He finished smugly, dropping a small kiss at the nape of her neck, and turned the part the curtain and relieve the sales girl of the bung of dresses that she had taken out.
“Now be a good girl, and try these too,” he told her gently, holding out the dresses.
Kalpi wanted to scream and stomp her foot … if this body-hugging dress would even allow that, she muttered to herself. Jealousy and frustration mingled and bubbled up inside her unknowingly and she felt irritable and annoyed, wanting to wipe that smug knowing look from his face. Turning away from him angrily she tried calm herself … only to feel his disturbing touch on her back again. Her startled eyes met his amused ones in the mirror again as he pulled the zipper down slowly, “you’ll need help with that...” he leaned closer and whispered in her ear, his gaze never leaving hers.
Reaching with his hand to gently push her chin upward to shut her softly open mouth, he smartly turned and walked out of the dressing room, his authoritative “change” echoing in the small confined space.
Kalpi sat with a thud on the small ottoman placed in one corner. Ok … she was a mess … this whole situation was a mess … and she had a dirty feeling he was playing with her … looking up at her disheveled self in the mirror, she softly touched her lips in wonder. That kiss had seemed to piece right into her heart and she had wanted to cling to him like that forever … what are you going to do, Kalpi, she asked herself again and again … this was getting more complicated by the minute … she did not seem to have any power on her feelings or her body …
“Need help?” his cheeky question came from across the curtain, galvanizing Kalpi into action. The last thing she needed was him coming back in this confined space with her.
Jumping up, she assured him that she was okay, and reached out to try the rest of the dresses that were placed inside the changing room. As she tried one dress after another, she stared in awe at her refection, wondering how perfect he had selected each garment for her. The colours, style and elegance of each of the dresses she tried on was just perfect in every way. From a simple black cocktail one to an elegant cream linen shift each complimented her completely. Even though Kalpi realized that she hardly every went out, she was tempted to purchase them in the hope that she may even get to wear them some day.
When she exited the changing area she saw Raghav at the far end of the store speaking on his mobile. She stood for a minute and admired his lithe muscular frame as he paced and spoke softly into his mobile. He had asked her once, long ago, if there were any shortcomings in him that she could not accept him in her life! Had he even looked at himself, Kalpi laughed to herself. He was a walking talking dynamite as far as she was concerned… what she had not even noticed in her recent youth was staring her in the face right there. She suddenly understood how easily women could call a man ‘sexy’… here was someone who was defining sexy as far as she was concerned.
Kalpi blushed prettily, averting her eyes, when he suddenly looked towards her and once again caught her checking him out. His questioning eyes, asked if she was okay and to give him a couple of minutes. God! Did I just read all that in his eyes? She wondered in fascination.
Nodding she turned towards the cash counter to pay for her purchases, while he finished his call and came over taking out his card in the process.
Kalpi stiffened.
“I can pay for those…” she ground out between clenched teeth, not wanting the sales staff to hear her. What would they think … why was he buying her clothes like this. “I can afford it…” she snapped nastily.
Charmingly he handed his card over to the sales girl behind the counter as they both completely ignored her standing and glower angrily at him. Signing the slip he turned towards her, bags in hand, tilting his head questioningly, “chalen?”
Not wanting to create a scene in the store, Kalpi turned and stormed out already deciding that he could keep the damn dresses and wear them himself for all she cared. A hysterical giggle erupted as he imagined him in them! She was not going to let him pat for her wardrobe ... and such an exorbitant one at that!
Raghav was having the time of his life. She was adorable and utterly sexy when she stomped about angrily. He was loving this new Kalpi of his, as she showed her jealousy and desires unknowingly. He was loving pampering her with gifts and he was enjoying getting under her skin and watching her react as if he belonged to her alone. A warmth spread over Raghav, as he marched her into a shoe shop next to complete the outfits he had purchased earlier.
“You’re going to wear women’s sandals also?” Kalpi asked sarcastically, refusing to enter the store he was now merrily strolling into. She looked at the branding on the door and groaned … another designer! No … he was absolutely NOT buying her anything from here, she thought a mutinous look in her eyes.
Raghav started indulgently at the exotic woman standing stiffly outside the store … his woman, he though proudly. Before this day was through he would have convinced her of his love and sorted out everything so that they could finally begin anew, he promised himself.
“No, I don’t have the kink of wearing high heels as yet,” he explained patiently. “would you like me to, though?” he asked naughtily winking at her and pulling her unyielding frame into the store.
Kalpi was at a loss of words at this new Raghav. Why was he not getting angry with her … why was he not reacting to her annoyed barbs and arguing with her? She was again standing there with her mouth parted staring at him in amazement. And again he gently pushed her chin up with his forefinger dropping a gentle kiss on her soft lips.
***
“I don’t need to buy footwear.” Kalpi told him fiercely, watching him browse the shelves and stop in front of a pair of red strappy heels. Kalpi gulped back a retort as she realized what he was up to. There was no way she was ever going to wear that Jessica Rabbit dress and now he was going and getting her shoes to match!
“Raghav!” she caught hold of his arm and pulled him away to face her. Very wrong move she realized as a sales girl was already reaching them and Raghav turned on his most charming smile on Kalpi and removing her hand tucked it under his arm “Yes, my love,” he whispered inquiringly … watching Kalpi blush furiously. His timing had been perfect, there was no way she was going to rant in front of a stranger, and hers sucked as she had all but thrown herself into this situation. MY LOVE? His words registered suddenly, and Kalpi felt a gush of shyness, lowering her lashes, unable to meet his gaze.
Sitting her down on one of the benches he instructed for the red sandals to be pulled out and taking it from the sales girls hand knelt in front of Kalpi ready to make her wear it. “I’ll try it myself,” Kalpi all but snatched the sandal from his hand slipping of her strappy gladiators and slipping her foot into the red ones, as he remained kneeling in front of her.
“Er … you can get up now …” she mumbled, his proximity effecting her terribly. She looked around the store nervously to check if any one was looking at them. She had to put a stop to this game he was playing if she wanted to return to Mumbai with her heart in one piece, Kalpi finally decided. She knew she did not have it in her to go through the same rejection that she did five years ago.
“It fits,” she stated quickly … “I’ll take it” and taking them off, to avoid a further scene quickly wore her own shoes going through the same motions of walking to the counter as in the dress store. Oh what did it matter … she nearly threw up her hands in the air, when once again he calmly managed to pay … she was NEVER going to wear the damn things anyway. If he wanted to waste his money it was his problem.
A sudden wave of fatigue hit her as all the fight went out. She felt emotionally and physically drained now. All she needed was a hot soak in the luxurious bath at the hotel and a hot meal in bed. This day had gone on long enough. Glancing at her slim practical wristwatch she saw that it was nearly evening. The day had just flown by so soon. And she was feeling sad that it had come to an end.
“You need to get some rest, I think,” Raghav was suddenly attentively by her side. “You look as if you are going to pass out.” He ushered her out of the store juggling all the bags in his hands, refusing her request to help. To tired to argue, Kalpi leaned back and shut her eyes, once she was comfortably seated in his car. She had to get back to reality now. She needed to think about Ranveer. She had stolen a day for herself, but now she needed to secure him. Her mind was in a muddle with all the questions and possible answers that were happening there. What should she do? Could she trust Raghav once again? Did he still love her after all these years or was it just a game to him have her … to play with her feelings once again. She had completely believed him once… but that was before she had the added responsibility of her son. Was she being selfish in not sharing the news about his son with him? She was petrified of his reaction to suddenly having a four-year-old thrust upon him. They had spent the whole day today and she had no idea what he was upto. He had asked her all about aai and baba and her job and she had not wanted to hear a single word about him … not asked him anything at all … about his past or his present. Had she done that consciously? Was she just taking this day selfishly just for herself … to make new memories for the lonely days ahead …
“Kapli?” Raghav’s soft voice cut into her jumbled thoughts, alerting her to the fact that the car had stopped. “We’re here.”
Opening her eyes she looked around and noticed them parked in the porch of a beautiful villa. “This is not the hotel … where are we?” she questioned him accusingly.
“My home,” he stated calmly taking off his seatbelt and getting out of the car to walk across and open her door.
“Your home?” she repeated faintly
“You want to get out?” he held out his hand for hers, as she remained seated inside the car.
“Get out?” she repeated again, not understanding what was going on. He had a house here… he lived in Dubai?? He did not live in Mumbai anymore … her mind raced at the various connotations of this new discovery.
“Yes, Kalpi … will you please stop repeating what I am saying and get out.” He asked patiently, his hand still held out.
“I’m repeating …” she started and shut her mouth when she saw his expression. “No.” she said instead. “I want to be dropped to the hotel.” He had to be joking thinking that she would go into his house with him now, she thought wildly.
“You did promise me a full day … and the day is not over yet. Besides you are too tired now to be walking around so you can relax here before we have dinner together.” He said evenly.
“Dinner together…” she repeated again
“Kalpi!” he warned with mock severity. “You have nothing to fear … I also promised to behave.”
Yeah right she thought hysterically … that’s just what you have been doing all afternoon!
With a resigned sigh she put her hand in his, and stepped out of the car saying a mental goodbye to her relaxing soak in the tub!
***
Kalpi followed him into the house deciding to stop this mental tug of war that she had been indulging in. She realized it would only result in a headache and nothing else. The cool interiors of the villa were like a soothing balm on her taut nerves. Of course, it had to be spic and span … not a thing out of place, she thought as she took in the tastefully done up home.
He led her to one of the rooms on the ground floor level and dumped the bags on a chair by the bay windows. Kalpi gasped in awe as she looked upon the vast stunning view of the ocean through those windows. Drawn by the beauty, she walked towards the view and stood taking it all in. “Its very beautiful,” she complimented him quietly, her back still to him.
“Why don’t you relax for sometime, while I get some work done.” He murmured softly not wanting to disturb her serene beauty as she started out into the ocean. “There’s a Jacuzzi in the bath in case you want to shower.” He shut his eyes as a picture of her rose in his mind … lying in the steamed bath … her dusky skin moist … STOP … STOP … he told himself fiercely. That was a very dangerous path his thoughts were taking. Maybe he needed a cold shower instead. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he left her alone and walked into his study to concentrate on some work instead. But not before calling his housekeeper on the intercom to issue instructions for dinner and a request for a tea tray to be taken to the guest room.
The soft knock on the door shook Kalpi from her dreamland and she opened the door to see a welcoming tray of tea being brought in to her. Thanking the matronly housekeeper, a little embarrassed at what she must be thinking, Kalpi sank into one of the sofas facing the ocean and curling her legs under her gratefully sipped the hot tea.
Dinner was to be at 8, the housekeeper had told her. Kalpi wondered what that meant. Were they eating here? Suddenly it sounded like a nice idea to stay in this beautiful house and eat … and the relief that there was a motherly housekeeper to chaperone them! Glancing at her watch and seeing that she had about an hour before dinner, Kalpi decided to take up the offer of the Jacuzzi.
Walking into the beautifully appointed bathroom with the tub holding pride of place, she started filling the water while tying up her hair and neatly folding her clothes that she had worn all day. Thankful for the dresses that had been purchased Kalpi decided to wear the knee-length cream linen shift knowing it would be elegant for a casual dinner… and of course her gold strappy gladiator tie-ups would go perfectly. Glad that she always carried a little makeup in her bag, Kalpi stepped into the warm swirling waters of the Jacuzzi and sighed deeply as she lay back and let the exhaustion of the day finally take over.
8:15 … Raghav glanced at his watch again … where was she? Sitting at the bar counter nursing his drink for the past half an hour he impatiently put down his glass and decided to go and check for himself. He had instructed his housekeeper to give her the time of dinner. He had specially ordered her to cook an Indian meal for Kalpi, which was warming nicely in the hot cases that Mrs Kumar, his housekeeper had left organized on the counters in the kitchen. She had insisted on staying to serve them, but Raghav knew she lived in another part of town and her family would have been waiting, so had refused her offer saying that he would manage perfectly well from here. He was looking forward to his evening with Kalpi.
Uneasiness crept in when Kalpi did not answer his repeated knocking and calling out from the door. Was she ok? He wondered … oh god! Had she walked off again without telling anyone ... panic overtook Raghav and he shoved the door open forcefully, striding in to find the room dark and unnaturally quiet. Walking to the bedside he reached down and switched on the lamps, bathing the room in a warm glow. She was not there! He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw her handbag and the other shopping bags lying where he had left them earlier.
His relief was short lived as another feeling of dread impelled him to burst open the bathroom door … had she fallen … was she hurt … hell! How long would she have been lying there in case she had fallen and hurt herself??
It took him a while to adjust to the steaming bathroom, as he wildly looked around for her on the floor. A small sigh from the Jacuzzi alerted him to her presence, and he stopped dead in his tracks … it was as if his earlier fantasy of her in the bath had come alive. She was immersed in the water and looked fast asleep!
Raghav walked up to the tub slowly taking in her radiance, enhanced further by the steam and tiny droplets resting on her peaceful face. Curly tendrils had come loose from her hair that had been bunched up untidily on top of her head. His eyes lowered to where they floated near her slim neck and as if under her spell he continued his examination seeing her supple form under the swirling bubbling water.
Raghav drew in a ragged breath and clenched his fists, dragging his eyes back up to her face.
Frustration took the form of sudden anger … how long had she been lying there? … didn’t she realize how dangerous it was to fall asleep like this? … what if he had not walked in …. What if she had slid down under the water … And before he could get a grip on himself he stormed to the tub and reached out to shake her shoulder rudely.
WHAT… Kalpi spluttered awake sitting up suddenly. She looked around, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar surroundings and her eyes came to rest on his stunned face. Following his line of vision Kalpi looked down at herself, sitting upright now in the tub, her breasts complete visible above the water, and to top it all she was sure he could see the way that they were reacting to his intense gaze.
Mortified at the way she must be looking, she immediately slid back down under, her cheeks flaming red … “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” She questioned instead harshly trying to control the tremble in her voice.
Her voice brought him out from the spell he was under. ‘Er … I …” he started mumbling … groaning inwardly at his behaving tongue-tied like an adolescent.
Clearing his throat to start over he began again, “You have been lying there for god knows how long… dinner was at 8 … when u didn’t show up, I came to check.” He finished lamely.
“You don’t believe in knocking?” she threw at him angrily … both of them suddenly looked at each other recalling another time at a business trip when she had walked into him and Maya and the dressing down he had given her later.
“I did,” he informed her patiently, “not once but many times.” He continued to stand there transfixed to the spot.
“Do you mind?” Kalpi asked sarcastically looking at the door pointedly. She needed to get out of here and into some clothes … she felt at such a disadvantage with him towering over her bare body like that!
Pursing his lips and biting back another retort, he spun around and left her alone in the bathroom.
Kalpi sat still for a few minutes taking in what had just happened. How could she have just fallen asleep and forgotten the time. She had not even made her customary call back home to speak with Ranveer when he returned from playschool. She could have easily called when she had been alone earlier in the room… but she were so busy with her thoughts of Raghav that it had not even struck her, she thought guiltily.
She would make a quick call right now before she joined Raghav for dinner outside. Yes ... that is what she would do she decided and stepping out of the bath draped herself in one of the fluffy cream towels. Pulling the clip from her hair she opened the door of the bathroom stepping into the room to come to a standstill as she saw Raghav still there drawing the curtains across the bay windows at the other end.
Raghav watched the door of the bathroom open within minutes of his leaving it. He had just walked across to draw the curtains to afford her some privacy to change before dinner, when he heard the click of the door behind him. He watched in fascination as she walked out removing her clip and the hair tumbled down over her bare shoulders in a mass of silk. Her body still moist and aglow and a towel barely covering her.
Drawing in a ragged breath he started walking firmly towards the door wanting to put as much distance between them before he gave in to temptation. He had planned on romancing her completely over dinner and convincing her that they belonged together … that she could trust him … that she had to stop thinking the worst of him like always.
Somewhere between the window and the door, his resolve started failing. It may have been the tiny whimper or the look in her eyes, but coming to a halt next to her and before either of them could react, he roughly pulled her into his arms. She’d been disturbing him for too many frustrating hours. As his lips touched hers, Kalpana kissed him back fervently. It was what she had been wanting and the thought that she ought to pull free did not even strike her. Her arms had already wrapped themselves around his neck tightly and she was kissing him back so deeply that she did not recognise herself.
The feel of his strong hard body pressing against her felt so good, the tide of pleasure that went rushing through her made her gasp and quiver feverishly as he explored her mouth with a deep intimacy which had her lips open wider in need for more. His masculine growl excited her as she relished the power she had over him.
Saying good-bye to his faltering self-control and thoughts of a romantic dinner he tightened his arms around her and lifted her up against him and wrapped her legs around his waist, before turning and carrying her across to the bed. This time he planned to love her properly … not some quick stolen moments like the last time. He had the whole night to show she how much he loved her.
He laid her gently on the bed. Her hair flowed across the pillow; her hands still held his head. Her eyes were closed, her soft lips parted, and she was shaking softly. She did not seem to have any control over what she was feeling. Control, he realised, belonged completely to him.
Her restless fingers trailed his nape, and slithered down his chest, and he groaned as his body responded violently. She felt the bunched muscles of his shoulders and held nothing back that he felt so intoxicated by her he sunk them both down until all she could do to was cling to him and let him dictate the rest.
Wild pleasure took her over, her body arching and trembling as she gasped out his name again and again. Passion, desire, the suppressed love of all those wasted years overrode everything. He made love to her slowly and erotically and intensely, his sensual caresses moving her closer and closer to a place she had never been before.
***
“I love you,” he whispered hoarsely in her ear. She reveled in the slow sensual reactionary quivers that brought her downwards slowly, the awareness of his skin against hers. The way he still held her, close, so close, whispering his love.
Easing her of his weight, he slid onto his side, taking her with him. Content to remain lost in the hazy aftermath of sweet pleasure, it was all she could do to curl against the man who her first love and had just made her feel so beautiful and gloriously passionate.
Smiling at his soft whispered kisses across her face, she thought at the back of her mind, I need tell him about Ranveer. But forgot everything when he once again caught her mouth and ravished its soft swollen fullness with erotic thoroughness. She could think of nothing else but the intensity of what was building between them.
Curled up in his arms, in the aftermath, Kalpana mustered up the courage to share the knowledge of his son with him. She moaned softly not knowing where to begin.
“I think we need to feed you, beautiful” and before she could say a word Raghav had jumped out of the bed, pulled on his trousers and throwing his discarded shirt at her, walked out of the room, with a wink and instructions to be out of bed.
Kalpana sat up and buried her face in her hands … God! What was she going to do? He had just shared the most beautiful moments with her … she blushed at the thought of his words that followed each kiss across her flamed body. Yes, she had to tell him … she would face the consequences … it was only right he knew. She would deal with his temper … didn’t she always deal with it in the past.
Pulling on the shirt he had thrown at her, she walked barefoot out of the room hesitatingly looking about her for the housekeeper. Hearing sounds from what she assumed was the kitchen, she walked through the living room, catching a glimpse of a beautifully laid out table for two on the deck outside. Oh dear! His housekeeper had gone into so much trouble for dinner, and they had just … going red all over again, she moved towards where the sounds where coming from.
He stood with his back to her at one of the kitchen counters. His naked back tapering into the slim figure hugging trousers that he had hurriedly pulled on. He admired his muscular frame and again blushed when she looked to see the marks her nails had left on his bare skin.
She must have let out a stifled groan, because he turned slowly to look at her fidgeting near the door, trying to pull the shirt down over her bare thighs when she saw him glance at her legs. Would she please stop blushing, she reprimanded herself angrily.
“That certainly looks better on you than me,” he winked wickedly again at her. “Come,” he commanded putting some dishes on a high counter in the middle of the kitchen. She saw that he had pulled out plates laid two places there next to each other. Walking to the fridge, he pulled out a bottle of wine that he proceeded to pour into the two wine glasses also laid at the counter.
“I …” Kalpana started to stammer, and clearing her throat again repeated, “I don’t drink.” He continued to stare at her, then turned and took out a jar of milk from the fridge, lifting it towards her questioningly.
Nodding gratefully, she sat on the high chair uncomfortable aware of the shirt riding up further. Standing next to her he filled her glass with the cold milk, and sat down beside her to serve her dinner.
“Er … your housekeeper… er ...” Kalpana fumbled her mind running amok with him sitting next to her, his chest all bare. He could have put on a shirt, she thought hotly, her fingers itching to touch his muscular frame. And on top of that he was sitting most calmly, eating as if it was the most usual thing for them to be sitting her half undresses sharing dinner! What was happening to her? His proximity was making a mess out of her.
“Is not here … left for her home,” he completed her unsaid sentence, filling a spoon with some rice and holding it against her mouth. She opened her mouth and took the food being offered, not knowing what else to do. I really need to tell him and then get thrown out, she thought wildly … “Raghav … I need to … we need to …” she tried to speak before he put anther morsel in her mouth.
“Eat.” He ordered nodding at her untouched plate, “we will talk after that.” He assured and calmly got back to eating and discussing her job and mundane things while she was all but chocking on the delicious food.
Deciding that she could not eat anymore, she pushed her plate aside and took the glass of milk, taking a gulp instead. Keeping the glass down, she felt a prickling sensation and looked to see him looking hungrily at her lips. Reaching out with a muffled oath, he wiped the milk moustache and reached over to gently kiss her.
That was enough to break Kalpana’s resolve she took his face between her hands and kissed him back passionately. With a surprised laugh against her mouth, he stood up from the stool and picking her up in one fluid motion marched up the stairs straight into his bedroom. They had the rest of their lives to talk, he told himself … he needed to make up for all the lost time that they had wasted.
A sound awoke Kalpi as the quiet light of the moon drifted in through the window. She continued to lie there for a few seconds, feeling a warn body behind her, trying to make sense of her unfamiliar surroundings, then she remembered and her heart gave a thump. She heard the sound again, and silently creeping out of bed, glanced at the bedside looking for a watch. She drew in a breath when she came upon her own photograph, in beautiful frame kept on his bedside. She looked about herself taking in the room she knew to be his.
There was the sound again … Kalpi got off the bed and wearing the shirt once again crept out of the room following the buzzing into the bedroom. HER PHONE! Kalpana realized, rushing towards her handbag and pulling out the mobile.
AAI! She read the caller ID … RANVEER! Her first moment of panic!
“Kalpi” aai sounded relieved hearing the phone being connected.
“aai .. ranveer …” Kalpna began, her heart in her mouth
“Kalpi, kitney der sey phone kar rahi hoon main … sab theek hain na wahan beta?” aai asked her … “Kalpi … Cheekoo park mein jhooley sey gir gaya thaa aaj …”
“aai …” Kalpan shut her eyes and hot tears welled up in them.
“ghabra matt … doctor key ley gaye they baba aur plaster bhi laga hain pair mein … sab theek that oh humney socha tu kam pey hain, kal taka a jayegi, aur pareshaan hoti …” aai’s voice trailed off nervously.
“KYA HUA AAI,” Kalpana all but shouted
“Voh Cheekoo … Voh soo hi nahi raha … tab sey roye jaa raha hain aur tujhey yaad kar raha hain … baba ki bhi nahi maan raha … bukhaar bhi chad rha hain … toh mainey socha terey saath baat kar leta phone pey … toh…”
“Kahan hain vo,” Kalpana asked hoarsely, the tears not flowing unabated. “Nahi, aap usey sulaney ki koshish Karen, main abhi apni flight badal key aati hoon … kuch ganhton mein wahan hoongi main.” She changed her mind … she had to get back to Mumbai immediately …
Disconnecting the phone she immediately called Priya … who sleepily took down her instructions and promised to call back immediately. Giving her the whereabouts of Raghav’s villa to get a taxi sent, Kalpi rushed and changed into her clothes and grabbing her bag all but ran out so as not to miss her taxi to the hotel.
The first rays of dawn hit Raghav’s sleeping body on the bed and he stretched contentedly and instinctively reached out for her beside him. Sitting upright he looed around, a feeling of dread hit him coldly.
Throwing away the covers he raced down into the guest room, and saw only the shopping bags and his discarded shirt lying on the bed.
HELL! How could she do this again? After what they shared last night … how could she BLOODY DO IT AGAIN! He thundered. Running up for his phone, he dialed the hotel only to be told that Ms Jhadav had checked out early in the morning. He threw his phone angrily on the bed, and sat at the edge with a thud, running his fingers through his hair.
NOW WHAT!
***
“SAMMY” … Raghav barked on the phone, completely disregarding his friend’s sleepy grumble.
“GET UP SAMMY”… he continued to shout urgently “SHE’S GONE.”
“Raghav” Sammy ground out looking at his wrist watch sleepily … “Goddammit … do you know what the time is?” … “Who’s gone?” … “Mrs. Kumar…?”
“SHUT UP SAMMY” Raghav bellowed, “Kalpi has gone!”
“Wooo … wait a minute …” Sammy sat up in bed, trying not to wake up Shruti. Silently getting out of bed, he walked out into the hotel balcony, taking in the sun rising above the Dubai skyline. “Kalpi?” he questioned once he was out of hearing range of Shruti. “What about Kalpi?”
Raghav shut his eyes, and tried to calm himself down before telling Sammy about yesterday … well … leaving out the personal bits that is.
“How can she just leave? Have you tried the hotel? Our return flights are scheduled this afternoon onwards …”
“DAMMIT SAMMY” Raghav was losing his cool again “I have called the hotel, she checked out hours ago.”
“Accha, ruk,” Sammy assured him, rolling his eyes at his friends love story that never had a dull moment it seemed. “I’m coming over to your place.”
***
The luxurious comfort of the Business Class went unnoticed by Kalpana, who wrapped up in her tremendous guilt wept quietly into her handkerchief. She refused anything offered to her by the stewardess, continuing to curse herself, for not calling home … for selfishly having the day for herself. How could you? She berated herself. What sort of mother are you? Why is this plane not landing? Why did I even agree to go for this stupid convention? Why didn’t I leave as soon as it was over? Her head was spinning with ifs and buts and not a single thought of the man she loved and had walked out off with so much as a word.
***
Raghav stood below the high rise looking up towards the sky. He had been told she lived on the 17th floor. It had taken Sammy and him just a few hours and umpteen phone calls to locate her whereabouts and get him onto the next flight to Mumbai. Glancing at his watch, he decided now was as good a time as any to do this and walked towards the elevators resolutely. It was time to end this cat and mouse game that she had been playing. How could she run away after what they had shared? He thought they had finally connected … He had told her again and again how much he loved her … HECK! He had shown her how much he loved her again and again, he recalled as his body stiffened remembering her yielding body under him.
The ping of the elevator arriving on the 17th floor roused Raghav from his reverie. His bravado suddenly crumbling, he stood outside the door to her apartment, her name clearly printed on a brass place alongside. He resisted the urge to touch the nameplate, and rang the bell instead. He heard her call out to someone from inside that she was getting the door and waited with bated breath to be face to face with Kalpi again.
Unprepared for the sight that greeted him, Raghav stepped back in shock as Kalpana holding a little baby boy on her hips opened the door and stared open-mouthed, her face mirroring his shocked expression. They started at each other in stunned silence questions and answers buzzing unsaid between them.
Her first instinct was to shut the door in his face. As if preempting that Raghav stepping forward as if in a trance and put his hand on the frame, more to keep from falling than anything else. He looked at the little boy clutching Kalpi and staring at him with interest. His curly black hair and toffee brown eyes looked terribly familiar. There was a plaster on his foot.
It was the little boy in her arms who finally broke the silence between them saying “Papa?”
Kalpi groaned at aai’s insistence of constantly showing Ranveer pictures of his father! How much they had argued over this for the last two years!
“He called me ‘Papa’…” Raghav murmured, fascinated by the little boy. He looked up at Kalpi’s stricken face … “I was going to tell you Ra...” she trailed off unconvincingly.
“Kalpi, kaun hain wahan…” aai called out from inside. Kalpana shut her eyes in defeat … this was only getting worse!
“Raghav baba”… aai’s warm shocked tones sounded behind Kalpi. NOW its gotten worse, Kalpi wanted to laugh hysterically.
‘Kamla maa…” Raghav looked warmly at aai then back again at Ranveer.
“I think you better come in, Raghav.” Kalpana decided not to prolong this everyone-greeting-each-other-in-shocked-tones any further. It was time for the confrontation.
Walking into a living room strewn with toys and the TV playing a cartoon channel Raghav looked around with interest, noticing the pictures of his and Kalpi’s engagement and sangeet displayed on one of the sideboards.
“Papa.” The boy pointed at him again looking at his nani aai for confirmation of his recognizing feat.
“Er … Raghav …” Kalpi hesitatingly began.
“This is why you ran away five years ago…” Raghav wondered aloud as realization dawned on him … “You kept my…”
“He is MY son, Raghav.” Kalpi shot out vehemently. “You married Pakhi remember? What were you going to do with pregnant me?” She ended snidely.
“Kalpi” aai’s soft warning tones came from beside her. She looked down to see Ranveer staring at her perplexed, as if asking why mumma was angry.
“Its ok baby” she cooed giving him a kiss on his forehead and handing him to aai.
“Raghav...” she tried to start again once aai had taken Ranveer to his room. She turned to see Raghav staring at where they had just disappeared behind a shut door.
“What’s his name?” he ground out hoarsely
“Ranveer … Ranveer Singhania,” She said in a small voice.
“Ranveer …” Raghav repeated in wonder
“Why did you do it Kalpi?” He turned towards her and asked harshly. “You did not think I had a right to know.” He accused his voice rising.
“I did what I had to …” she countered fiercely, about to tell him not to shout. “Did you expect me to sit and watch you and Pakhi take away my son too…”
“OUR son,” he gritted out correcting her heatedly. “What happened to his leg?” Raghav asked suddenly remembering the plaster.
“He fell from the swing yesterday.” Kalpi informed him falteringly.
“And is that why you ran away again this morning?” he questioned softly.
“Look Raghav …” she tried to talk this out sensibly … his jumping from one question to another was unnerving her.
“You were planning on hiding him from me for exactly how long?” he cut her short coldly.
“I was not!” she denied vehemently. “I was going to tell you when we … when you …” her voice trailed off sheepishly.
“Yes? Before or after you jumped into bed with me?” He asked nastily. “You were planning to disappear again were you not?”
“No, Raghav …” she began pleadingly when another door banged open and baba came striding out in a temper.
Raghav turned to greet him, but before he could get in a word baba coldly asked him to leave. “bahut dukh diye hain tumney Kalpi ko… ab usko chod do. Voh khush hain tumharey bina…”
Kalpana reached out to stop baba … no she didn’t want him to speak to Raghav like this… but before she could say anything Raghav nodded at both of them and walked out, shutting the door behind him.
The eerie silence that now surrounded the living room sent a shiver down Kalpi’s spine. This did not look good at all … she looked at baba pleadingly, and he just turned and walked back into his room in silence.
***
Raghav banged his fist on the elevator button in the lift lobby outside. How could she do this? How could she have lied and hidden his son from him all these years? Dammit! Did she realize what she had done? He heard Ranveer’s baby voice saying ‘papa’ and shut his eyes and an unfamiliar warmth spread across his chest. A violent anger suddenly overtook that warmth … anger at how much he had lost in all these years … anger at Kalpi … her parents … his mother … Pakhi … WHAT THE HELL! Did he not deserve any happiness? Why was it that whenever he thought things were ok they would all completely shatter him? Yesterday was possibly the happiest day he had spent in a long long time, finally relaxed and with the only woman he ever loved. And now today … THIS! He had half a mind to storm back inside and sort this out once and for all. NO … He had let his temper always get the better of him and always ruined situations … he needed to find a way around this calmly and sensibly. After a moment’s hesitation, he took out his mobile and dialed his lawyer.
***
Inside the apartment Kalpi paced the living room twisting her fingers in agitation. What was she to do now? She did not have his mobile or even know where he lived … how on earth was she to find him even if she wanted to. The way he had left, she had a terrible premonition of the worst to come. How could she work around his anger when she could not even find him, and did not know where to start?
But first things first … with a determined firmness she walked towards her parent’s bedroom to speak with baba. It was time he stopped treating her like a young girl. She was a mother now … she ran a full bank for goodness sake … he needed to let her make her own mistakes and live her life with her own choices. He had to stop hanging on to the past … she had to convince him of the love she had seen in Raghav‘s eyes yesterday … he just had to understand her point of view too. Suddenly she realized how much both Ranveer and she needed Raghav now … and this time she was not running away from anything. She would face his anger, his accusations … everything.
Taking a deep breath she opened the door to baba’s room and stepping in shut it quietly behind her.
***
They were all seated at the dining table when the doorbell ran again later than evening. Kalpi looked nervously at aai and baba, her feeling of dread written all over her face. Even Ranveer was fussing over his food as if sensing his mother’s agitation. A part of her hoped that Raghav had come back … for whatever reason ... to shout at her … to fight with her … but as long as he was back, she would at lest be able to speak with him.
Pushing her chair back, she walked slowly to the open the door, her instincts telling her it was Raghav at the other side.
Relief at finding him at the door was soon replaced with apprehension when she took in his rigid stance. He was still in the same clothes he had come in earlier, unshaven and tired he stared at her for a short moment before looking past her towards Ranveer still fussing over the meal with aai. Pushing past her he walked into the room and towards the dining table where Ranveer became silent … staring at his father with his head cocked to a side. “Papa” he told aai again expecting to be rewarded with his usual hug.
“Raghav …” Kalpi moved in behind him wanting to speak with him.
He turned harshly back at her “I will not let your silly stubbornness push me out this time, Kalpana.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. He had not called her ‘Kalpi’ … bad … bad … sign!
“I’m not pushing you out,” she denied vehemently “I just …”
“Drop it,” he commanded and handing her a huge manila envelope moved towards where Ranveer sat on aai’s lap at the dining table. Pulling out a chair next to them he sat and stared in fascination at the baby who started back equally fascinated.
Kalpi looked down at the envelope, saw the insignia of the court and felt the colour drain from her face. NO … he could not do this … he could not take Ranveer away from her … she had thought she would talk to him … that they could work out … she watched in slow motion the room become hazy … baba who was facing her get up and reach out his hand slowly and Raghav turn and pushing himself off the chair to hold her mid fall before everything went black.
“Kalpi… paani aai…” she heard his voice instructing aai … he had not called her ‘Kamla maa’ Kalpi noted even through the haze. She was on one of the sofas and he was keeling besides her rubbing her hand between his.
Aai rushed near with a glass of what but stopped short when she saw Kalpana’s eyes open and staring at a flustered Raghav. A small smile played on her lips as she watched them together and she turning and gave a knowing smile to her husband who held Ranveer aloft while they attended to Kalpi.
“You …” Kalpi said hoarsely “that …” pointing to the envelope that was now on the floor …”Please Raghav … don’t do this…” she pleaded while trying to sit up and clutch at his hands.
“Shhhh … sweetheart,” he whispered softly. The lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything. She thought he was going to take her son away from her … she had again thought the worst of him! This had gone on long enough he decided and turning towards aai and baba motioned them to sit on the sofa next to where Kalpi sat now.
Kneeling in front of three of them … Four actually if you counted Ranveer who had begun to fidget at the silence, Raghav drew in a ragged breath and decided to risk everything on one last throw of the dice.
“I love you.” He spoke directly to Kalpi holding her hands. “Since meeting you again two days ago I have come to admire and love you more than any other woman on earth. Because the thought of having to allow you to walk out of my life for a second time is totally destroying me!”
Kalpi stared at him. Simply stared. Rendered completely and utterly dumbstruck by what he had just said. By how he looked ... The pain of his eyes, and the tension in his face and body were all showing how important her answer was to him.
He was not taking Ranveer from her? But those papers? … She hesitated, a bubble of happiness, pure unadulterated happiness, beginning to rise within her
Raghav turned towards aai and baba running an agitated hand through the dark thickness of his hair … last time he had left too much to chance ... not this time.
“Aai … baba … main Kalpi sey bahut pyar karta hoon … bahut galtiyaan kari, par ab please… mujhey Kalpi dey dijiyey … aur Ranveer bhi” he glanced at his son in tenderness. “ek minute ..” he muttered suddenly getting up and walking out of the front door, leaving three stunned people sitting on the sofa looking after him.
Kalpi couldn’t move for several seconds, the closing of the front door finally moved her into action as she hurried into the hallway and wrenched that door open.
His back was towards her as he stood in the hall wiping his tears. The bubble of happiness inside her became bigger, and then bigger still, until she felt full to bursting with it.
‘Where are you going?’ leaning against the door she demanded dazedly. ‘You know Raghav, its was always me you taunted for running away,” she teased, remembering all the times he had pushed her to react. She walked slowly towards him. He looked down at her as she came to a halt in front of him – so petite, and yet so very strong; she had to be to have stood up to him the past two days! So young and yet at the same time so wise and knowing. And she held his heart in the palms of her tiny hands…
He reached out to grasp both of those hands in his. ‘I really am sorry for the way I have behaved, Kalpi.’
‘How sorry?’ she asked cheekily loving this serious Raghav who she seemed to have such control over.
‘Very sorry.’ He muttered fervently
‘And…?’
‘I really am very, very sorry?’ he questioned, not understanding where this conversation was going.
‘And…?’ she repeated with some frustration. “You are supposed to repeat your proposal now silly.” Oh, what the hell!’ she dismissed, throwing her arms around his neck as she finally allowed her happiness to show. ‘Forget the questions … my answer is yes!’ She beamed up at him glowingly.
Raghav’s arms moved possessively about her slender waist as he looked down at her hungrily. He really loved her.
“Good,” he said firmly, “because that envelope contains a special license for us to be married tomorrow morning.
She reached up and tenderly touched the side of his face, realizing such a fool she had been, thinking that he could hurt her in any way.
“I already love you and want to marry you,’ she revealed huskily.
Raghav looked stunned for a second, then the hunger in his eyes deepened as she allowed him to see all the love for him she had been keeping in check … For so long.
***
Two wonderful months later, Raghav strode into the bedroom seeing Kalpi standing in front of a wardrobe full of clothes chewing her finger nails.
“You’re supposed to be dressed by now…” he frowned “the kids have already started arriving...”
“Is it that late?” Looking back at him, Kalpi felt the usual shiver inside her watching him look so deliciously gorgeous in a steel grey suit. She felt a moment of possessiveness at the thought that every single bit of him belonged to her.
“Kalpi!” he growled seeing her expression, “we have a birthday party for our son… do not tempt me to miss it” he added mock seriously.
“aai hain na neechey?” she asked him distractedly her hands stopping on the red dress, a mischievous glint coming into her eyes. “You don’t want to help me get dressed,” she challenged seductively, “I was thinking of wearing the red dress that …”
“Don’t even think about it,” Raghav narrowed his eyes, imagining how she had looked in that red dress. Then throwing caution to the winds he responded with a lusty growl “Maybe afterwards … Private viewing.’
And he captured her in a long sweet kiss.
EPILOGUE
Dear nani-aai,
Sammy chachu promised me that he would read this email out to you in Hindi when he visits you. He and Shruti chachi just stayed with us and I had lots of fun with Pranav.
Mumma told me that you will come here to stay with us next month. I am very excited and want to show you all my new toys and my room and the new cycle that papa has bought me and my new school and my new friends in the park. Mumma says papa ‘spoils’ me and gets angry with him … but then she hugs me and kisses me a lot which I don’t like too much as her tummy is big and fat now.
Papa says I am going to get a baby sister. Nani, can I tell you a secret … I don’t want a sister. I want a brother like Pranav.
Papa is forever kissing mumma and that is so yucky. But mumma is pretty, not like the silly girls in my class. I will never kiss them.
I miss your masala bhindi. Papa says his favourite is also the masala bhindi you make. When you come here, will you make it every day for me and papa.
I have to go now, as mumma is calling me down for doing my homework. I hate that too by the way. Papa tries to do it for me quietly but then mumma catches him and gets angry and he kisses her again… YUCK!
I will go now nani-aai ... and I am counting the days when you and baba will come. Papa has promised to take me to the airport in his big black car.
I love you nani.
Chikoo
PS: You must not call me Chikoo in front of my friends now. Please call me Ranveer when you visit us.
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